公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Use correct tense and concise sentences. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give specific supporting details (what you did, who with, a memory). Avoid repetition and unclear phrases. Use linking words for coherence.

範例: Yes. I enjoyed going to parks as a child. I often visited with my parents and siblings to play on the swings and have picnics. Because the gardens were well kept and quiet, I always felt relaxed and happy when I visited.

建議: Be more concise and correct with verb forms. Give one clear topic sentence, then add specific details and a linking word to explain reasons or frequency. Avoid trailing off and redundancy.

範例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. I visit with my family about twice a week, usually for a walk or to exercise, which helps me relax and stay fit. Because the paths are peaceful, I find these visits a pleasant break from work.

建議: Provide a direct opinion then support it with specific reasons and examples. Use linking words (for example, because, so) and avoid repetition. Mention who benefits and when parks are used.

範例: Yes, I would like more parks in our city. For example, many families go to parks after dinner, so additional green space would give people more places to relax and children more room to play. This would also improve air quality and community life.

建議: Be specific about the park and give clear reasons for visiting. Use correct nouns and avoid filler words. State one or two concrete features you want to see and explain why they interest you.

範例: I would like to visit Johnson Park in the future because it is known as the most beautiful park in our city. I want to see its large lake and the variety of fish there, and I am also interested in the botanical garden and walking trails.

× Yes, I like going to parks as a child.

✓ Yes, I liked going to parks as a child.

The question asks about past habit ('as a child'), so the student should use past tense. Use 'liked' to match time frame. Suggestion: Use past simple for habits in the past: 'I liked going to parks as a child.'

× When I was a child I always go to parks because the scenery is very beautiful which makes me feel happy and good.

✓ When I was a child I always went to parks because the scenery was very beautiful and made me feel happy.

Mix of present and past tenses; 'when I was a child' requires past simple ('went', 'was', 'made'). Also remove redundant words and awkward structure. Suggestion: Keep consistent past tense and concise adjectives: 'When I was a child I always went to parks because the scenery was very beautiful and made me feel happy.'

× Good smooth smooth knife and enjoy the enjoy the.

✓ (This sentence is unintelligible and should be replaced with a clear statement, for example: 'I enjoyed the peaceful atmosphere and walking there.')

The original contains repeated words and fragments with no clear meaning or verb structure. It lacks cohesion and a clear subject-verb-object. Suggestion: Replace with a complete, meaningful sentence: 'I enjoyed the peaceful atmosphere and walking there.'

× Yes, I I still like going to parks now I will go to park with my family twice a week and sometimes I will go to the park for exercising or just walking.

✓ Yes, I still like going to parks now. I go to the park with my family twice a week, and sometimes I go to the park to exercise or just walk.

Mix of present simple and future/modal 'will' causes awkwardness. For habitual present actions use present simple ('I go', 'I go to the park to exercise'). Also fix repetition and punctuation. Suggestion: Use present simple for routines and 'to' + verb for purpose: 'I go to the park to exercise.'

× It's a very happy time or moment for me and because.

✓ It is a very happy time for me.

Sentence fragment ends with 'and because' with no completion. Remove the incomplete conjunction and keep a complete clause. Suggestion: Use a full clause: 'It is a very happy time for me.' or expand: 'It is a very happy time for me because I spend it with my family.'

× Yes, I'd like to see more parks in our city and this this phenomenon is more more and more common in our city and many people's would like to go to the park after the evening dinner time and many many child run and doing.

✓ Yes, I'd like to see more parks in our city. This phenomenon is becoming more and more common, and many people like to go to the park after dinner. Many children run and play there.

Sentence has repetition, tense and plurality issues, and fragments. Use present progressive 'is becoming' for ongoing change, correct plural forms ('people', 'children'), remove redundant words, and break into clear sentences. Suggestion: Use concise clauses and correct plural nouns: 'many people', 'many children run and play there.'

× I want to go go to a MU uh, Johnson parks in the future because this is the most most beautiful park in our city and very and many, many sad things in there like like fish or.

✓ I want to go to Johnson Park in the future because it is the most beautiful park in our city and has many features I like, such as fish in the pond.

Many problems: repeated words, incorrect plural 'parks' when referring to one park, wrong article and name formatting, tense mostly fine but phrasing is unclear. Use 'want to go to' and singular 'Park' if naming one. Replace vague 'sad things' with 'features I like' and clarify example. Suggestion: Clean up repetitions, use correct proper noun form 'Johnson Park', and provide clear descriptions: 'it has a pond with fish.'