公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Старайтесь использовать правильные времена и более простой, связный порядок слов. Уберите лишные паузы и междометия (uh, umm). Начните с чёткого топик‑предложения (Past tense для детства), затем добавьте 1–2 конкретных поддерживающих детали с логическими связками (because, and). Используйте правильные предлоги (go to the park, spend time at the park).

範例: Yes, I enjoyed going to the park when I was a child. I often played games there with my friends because the park had a large playground and many trees. As a result, I spent many happy afternoons outside.

建議: Избегайте повторов и неправильных слов (parking → park). Давайте одно чёткое утверждение в настоящем времени, затем 1–2 конкретные причины, связав их с because/so. Не дублируйте фразы и называйте конкретные активности (ride scooters, meet friends).

範例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. I go there to relax because the atmosphere is peaceful, and I often ride scooters or meet friends for small gatherings. This helps me unwind after a busy day.

建議: Используйте правильную структуру для выражения желания (I wish there were more parks). Будьте конкретнее: скажите почему нужны парки (для отдыха, спорта, общения) и приведите один пример существующего парка кратко. Уберите непонятные фразы (locomotive, the nervous).

範例: Honestly, I wish there were more parks in my city because they provide places for exercise and socialising. For example, Bunyadgur Park is pleasant and popular because it has paths for walking and areas where children can ride scooters.

建議: Дайте прямой ответ и потом конкретную причину и одно описание (location, facilities). Уберите повторы и междометия. Используйте слова как modern, comfortable, good facilities и укажите, что именно хотите делать там (ride bikes, relax).

範例: Yes, I would like to visit the park in Amangan in the future. I heard it is modern and comfortable with good facilities, and I would like to ride bikes there and relax in a pleasant environment.

× Yes, when I was young, I like it go to the park.

✓ Yes, when I was young, I liked going to the park.

The student used the present tense 'like' for a past time reference 'when I was young'. Use past simple 'liked' and the gerund 'going' after 'like' when describing habitual actions in the past. Suggestion: use 'liked going' for past habitual activities.

× Nevertheless, now I like go to the park too, uh, because the in the, I can relax in there and I spend more time awesome there.

✓ Nevertheless, now I like going to the park too because I can relax there and I spend more enjoyable time there.

After 'like' use the -ing form 'going'. 'In there' is incorrect; use 'there'. 'Spend more time awesome' is ungrammatical; use 'spend more enjoyable time' or 'have a great time'. Suggestion: 'like going', 'relax there', 'spend more enjoyable time'.

× Uh, especially with my friends, uh, and umm, I always visit to the park as a child.

✓ Especially with my friends, I often visited the park when I was a child.

The phrase 'visit to' is incorrect; use 'visit' without 'to' or 'visited'. Also 'always' with 'as a child' sounds odd; 'often' or 'frequently' is better. Maintain past tense 'visited' for past time. Suggestion: use 'visited the park' and 'when I was a child'.

× Yes, let's talk about this again. I like go to the parking now because I can relax where is enjoyable place and I can ride many, I can ride many scooters and scooters and I can show many, I can show enjoyable parties there.

✓ Yes, let's talk about this again. I like going to the park now because I can relax in an enjoyable place, ride many scooters, and there are many fun events there.

Use 'going' after 'like'. 'Parking' is wrong; use 'park'. 'Where is enjoyable place' should be 'an enjoyable place' or 'a place that is enjoyable'. Repetition 'I can ride many, I can ride many scooters and scooters' is redundant; simplify to 'ride many scooters'. 'I can show many, I can show enjoyable parties' is unclear; likely meant 'there are many fun events' or 'enjoyable activities'. Suggestion: prefer concise, correct noun phrases and gerunds.

× Honestly speaking, I wish there are many parks in my city but there are few park my city like locomotive in Bunyadgur parks and the nervous I like it and the reason why I like it because there are many scooters there.

✓ Honestly speaking, I wish there were more parks in my city, but there are only a few parks, such as Locomotive Park in Bunyadgar; I like it because there are many scooters there.

When expressing a wish about a present unreal situation use 'wish + past' (wish there were). 'Few park' should be 'few parks' or 'only a few parks'. Names of parks should be capitalized and separated. 'The nervous' is unclear and likely incorrect; removed. Suggestion: use 'I wish there were more parks' and plural forms for countable nouns.

× Yes, certainly if I have a choice opportunity, I want to go to the park where it's located in Amangan uh, the this park holiday, uh Afghan Alar uh, the reason why I want to go there is that, uh, I think uh, it is a modern, comfortable forever likes and I can ride many.

✓ Yes, certainly if I have the chance, I want to go to the park located in Amangan, called Afghan Alar. The reason I want to go there is that I think it is modern and comfortable, and I can ride many scooters.

'If I have a choice opportunity' is unnatural; use 'if I have the chance' or 'if I have the opportunity'. 'Where it's located in Amangan' should be 'located in Amangan'. 'The this park holiday' is ungrammatical and removed. 'It is a modern, comfortable forever likes' is meaningless; corrected to 'modern and comfortable'. Maintain parallel structure and include plural 'scooters' after 'many'. Suggestion: use clear noun phrases, correct collocations, and plural forms where needed.