公园— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be clearer and more grammatical: start with a direct topic sentence, use correct verb forms, and give two concise supporting details linked logically. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases.

範例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often walked along the paths in the evenings and played on the swings with other children. These visits were memorable because they let me be active outside and make friends.

建議: Answer directly and correct word choice and sentence structure. Use one linking phrase to add a supporting detail and avoid repetition ('whenever' repeated).

範例: I still enjoy going to parks, although my mainly sedentary schedule makes it difficult. However, when I have free time I go to a nearby park to relax and refresh my mind.

建議: Good content and reasons — improve grammar, article use, and cohesion. Use linking words (for example, moreover) and be specific about benefits in one or two clear sentences.

範例: Yes, I would. More parks would make the city cleaner and quieter. Moreover, parks encourage people to exercise instead of staying indoors, and they provide an ideal place to relax with family and friends.

建議: Clear and specific answer — improve accuracy of vocabulary and reduce minor errors. Replace vague words (e.g., 'raw garden', 'recognized materials') with correct terms, and use one linking word for coherence.

範例: Yes, I would like to visit the Raw Garden in Chengdu. I’ve heard it is a unique artistic park made from recycled materials such as stone and broken glass, and I think exploring its sculptures and spending time in nature would be a refreshing experience.

× Yes, of course, when I was a child I used to go park, I used to wind paths in the evening also and in the parts I did use really many things such as go for a work play, played with the children's also and it was a memorable experience for me.

✓ Yes, of course. When I was a child I used to go to the park. I used to walk along the paths in the evenings, and in the parks I used to do many things such as going for a walk, playing with the children. It was a memorable experience for me.

Multiple errors: missing prepositions ('go to the park'), incorrect verb forms ('wind' should be 'walk', 'did use really many things' should be 'used to do many things'), incorrect gerund/infinitive forms ('go for a walk' and 'playing' rather than 'go for a work play'), and punctuation/run-on sentence. Suggestion: add necessary prepositions, use 'used to' + base verb for habitual past, use gerunds for activities, and split into shorter sentences for clarity.

× Due to my sedentary lifestyle, I cannot manage my time to go to baths but whenever I whenever I free, whenever my time goes leisure and I have enough time then I definitely go to park for relaxing my mind and for refresh me also.

✓ Due to my sedentary lifestyle, I cannot always manage my time to go out, but whenever I am free and have enough time I definitely go to the park to relax my mind and refresh myself.

Errors include wrong preposition/object ('go to baths' and 'go to park' should be 'go out' and 'go to the park'), incorrect verb forms ('for relaxing my mind' should be 'to relax my mind' and 'for refresh me' should be 'to refresh myself'), and awkward phrasing ('whenever I whenever I free'). Suggestion: use 'am free', 'go to the park', use infinitive 'to relax' and reflexive pronoun 'myself'.

× Yes, definitely, I love to see more parts in my hometown as they made the environment more cleaner and peaceful.

✓ Yes, definitely. I would love to see more parks in my hometown because they make the environment cleaner and more peaceful.

Errors: 'parts' should be 'parks' (word choice) and comparative phrasing 'more cleaner' is incorrect — use either 'cleaner' or 'more clean' (cleaner preferred). Tense/agreement: use present simple 'make' for general truth. Suggestion: correct noun, use 'make the environment cleaner and more peaceful'.

× Paths also encourage individuals to stay active, instead spend most of the time indoors.

✓ Parks also encourage individuals to stay active instead of spending most of their time indoors.

Errors: 'Paths' likely intended 'Parks'. Missing preposition 'instead of' required to contrast actions, and gerund 'spending' required after 'instead of'. Possessive pronoun 'their' required with 'time'. Suggestion: use 'instead of spending most of their time indoors'.

× Besides, they are a great place for spend time with their family and friends, to relax and to enjoy time together.

✓ Besides, they are a great place to spend time with family and friends, to relax, and to enjoy time together.

Error: verb form after 'place' should be infinitive ('to spend') not bare infinitive 'spend'. Also omit unnecessary possessive 'their' when generalizing. Suggestion: use 'a great place to spend' and keep parallel infinitive structure.

× Yes, I really like to visit the raw garden of Chengdu in the future.

✓ Yes, I would really like to visit the Raw Garden of Chengdu in the future.

Minor issue: modal and tense—use 'would like to' to express future desire. Proper noun capitalization 'Raw Garden'. Suggestion: use 'would like to visit' for polite future intention.

× I have heard that it is a very unique and creative place made from recognized materials like stone and broken glass.

✓ I have heard that it is a unique and creative place made from recycled materials like stone and broken glass.

'Very unique' is weakly redundant; 'unique' alone is sufficient. 'Recognized materials' is incorrect choice — likely 'recycled materials'. Suggestion: use accurate adjective 'recycled' and avoid 'very unique'.

× Also, I think it would be a refreshing experience for me to explore such an artistic path and spend more time in nature.

✓ Also, I think it would be a refreshing experience to explore such an artistic park and spend more time in nature.

'Artistic path' is odd in this context; 'park' fits better. No pronoun 'for me' necessary; sentence is smoother without. Suggestion: choose the noun that matches earlier references ('park').