Hobby— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more fluent and concise: avoid filler words (uh), give a clear topic sentence, then one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Also vary vocabulary (e.g., ‘relaxation’ -> ‘stress relief’ or ‘relaxes me’). Keep to under five sentences.

Example: I have several hobbies, including journaling, football and swimming. Among them, football is my favourite because I play regularly and it helps me relax after a busy day. In addition, it keeps me fit and gives me a chance to socialise with friends.

Suggestion: Answer directly and accurately: the examiner asked about childhood hobbies, so state a clear childhood hobby. Avoid contradictory or confusing statements. Use linking words to explain reasons and give one specific detail about how you did the hobby.

Example: When I was a child I enjoyed songwriting. I listened to K-pop, R&B and hip hop, so I tried to imitate those styles and wrote simple lyrics and melodies. This helped me express myself and improve my English and creativity.

Suggestion: Be natural and more precise: avoid awkward phrases like 'kicking things'—say 'playing football since childhood.' Start with a clear topic sentence, then add concise supporting details (how long, achievements) using linking words.

Example: Yes, I have played football since I was a child. As a result, I joined my school’s girls’ football team and now I am the team captain of Red Cardinal Cottage, which shows how much I’ve developed my skills over the years.

Suggestion: Give a clear direct answer and organise supporting details logically. Avoid contradictions and filler words. Use linking phrases (for example, 'however', 'in contrast') and be specific about who shares or does not share the hobby.

Example: No, my hobbies are different from most of my family’s. For instance, neither my father nor my mother currently plays football; although my mother used to play when she was younger. Therefore, I believe my interest in football developed independently.

× Yes, I do have multiple, uh, hobbies.

✓ Yes, I have several hobbies.

'Multiple' is acceptable but 'several' is more natural here; no strict grammar error but simplifying improves clarity. Use plural 'hobbies' to match 'several'. Suggestion: prefer 'several' or 'many'.

× Uh, three of them are journaling, football and swimming.

✓ Three of them are journaling, football, and swimming.

Missing comma before conjunction in a list (serial comma) improves clarity. Add comma after 'football'.

× The hobby that I like the most is football as I play that game a lot and I have a passion in that sport.

✓ The hobby I like the most is football because I play it a lot and I have a passion for that sport.

Use 'because' instead of 'as' for reason clarity. Use object pronoun 'it' for 'football'. Use preposition 'for' with 'passion' (passion for something). Also remove unnecessary 'that'.

× I like to play that game as it gives me some point of relaxation.

✓ I like to play because it gives me a sense of relaxation.

'That game' is awkward; 'because' fits better. 'Some point of relaxation' is unidiomatic; use 'a sense of relaxation'. Remove redundant 'to' after 'like'.

× I am a child at the current moment, but the hobbies that I have are like, you know, songwriting.

✓ I am a child at the moment, and one of my hobbies is songwriting.

'At the current moment' is wordy; 'at the moment' is natural. Use 'one of my hobbies is' to match singular 'songwriting'. Replace filler 'like, you know'. Ensure subject/verb agreement ('one of my hobbies is').

× I like songwriting because the songs that I listen to are K pop, then are R&B, pop, hip hop and all of that.

✓ I like songwriting because the songs I listen to are K-pop, R&B, pop, and hip hop.

Remove unnecessary 'then are' and 'and all of that'. Use commas and serial comma. Hyphenate 'K-pop'.

× So yeah, I like to, uh, write songs in every type of languages.

✓ So yeah, I like to write songs in every language.

'Type of languages' is incorrect; say 'every language' or 'many languages'. Also remove filler and extra comma. Use plural 'languages' without 'type of'.

× A hobby that I've had since childhood is kicking things.

✓ A hobby I've had since childhood is kicking things.

Contraction 'I've' is fine; removed redundant 'that'. No major tense error. Sentence corrected for conciseness; retains present perfect 'have had since childhood' which is appropriate.

× That's why I got into football team.

✓ That's why I joined the football team.

Use verb 'joined' rather than 'got into'. Include definite article 'the' before 'football team'. This corrects idiomatic and article usage.

× And yeah, that's the hobby that I have since my childhood and I play football really well, that I got into my school's football girls team and I also am the captain of that team, the captain of Red Cardinal Cottage.

✓ That's the hobby I've had since childhood. I play football well; I joined my school's girls' football team and I am the captain of the Red Cardinal Cottage team.

Split run-on sentence into shorter sentences. Use present perfect 'I've had since childhood'. Use 'girls' football team' with possessive plural. Use 'joined' and maintain consistent tense. 'The captain of Red Cardinal Cottage' clarified as 'the Red Cardinal Cottage team'.

× No, I do not have uh, hobbies. Same as my family members.

✓ No, I do not have the same hobbies as my family members.

Combine fragments and place 'same' correctly: 'the same hobbies as'. Avoid sentence fragment 'Same as my family members.'

× Nobody, my uh, entire family heritage plays football.

✓ Nobody in my family plays football.

'Entire family heritage' is incorrect; use 'in my family'. 'Nobody in my family plays football' is clear and grammatical. Remove filler.

× Except because my father does not play football.

✓ Except that my father does not play football.

Use 'except that' rather than 'except because' to introduce an exception. Alternatively say 'My father does not play football.'

× My mother does not play football. I mean, she was a great football player, uh, in her era, but still.

✓ My mother does not play football now; she was a great football player in her time, though.

Clarify time frame: use 'now' for present contrast and 'was' for past. 'In her era' is unidiomatic; use 'in her time'. 'Though' is more natural than 'but still'.

× So I think my habit of kicking things came from my own self.

✓ So I think my habit of kicking things comes from myself.

Use present tense 'comes' if speaking about a current tendency. 'From my own self' is unidiomatic; use 'from myself'. Alternatively 'from my own nature'.