Hobby— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be direct and clear: start with a simple topic sentence naming your hobby, then give 1–2 specific reasons or details. Avoid unclear words (e.g. "play theater" vs "act in plays") and incorrect phrases ("when they have a leisure time", "a fight"). Use linking words for coherence.

Example: I enjoy acting in community theater. For example, I rehearse with a local group every weekend, which helps me relax and forget about work stress, and I also like the social side because I meet creative people.

Suggestion: Begin with a clear past-tense topic sentence and use correct verb forms. Give one specific detail and a linking word. Avoid repetition of "friends" and be precise about activities.

Example: Yes, as a child I loved running in the park with my friends. We would race along the paths every afternoon, which was fun and kept us active, so I have many happy memories of those times.

Suggestion: Use consistent tenses (past for childhood, present for now) and a concise structure: topic sentence + brief supporting detail + frequency. Add a linking word to show continuity between past and present.

Example: Yes, I've loved running since childhood. Because it improved my stamina when I was young, I continued the habit and now I try to run three times a week to stay fit.

Suggestion: Be careful with word choice ("debt" is incorrect here). Start with a clear statement, then give a specific reason and an example. Use linking words and correct tense/agreement.

Example: Yes, my family also enjoys running. For instance, we sometimes go jogging together on weekends because it helps us keep healthy and manage our weight.

× Yes, I love to play theater when they have a leisure time because a fight is very relaxing and help me to release my stress.

✓ Yes, I love to act in plays when I have leisure time because performing is very relaxing and helps me release stress.

Pronoun 'they' incorrectly refers to the student; use 'I' to match subject (Incorrect use of pronouns). 'Play theater' is unnatural; use 'act in plays'. 'a leisure time' should be 'leisure time' (article error/phrase choice but covered by pronoun fix). 'a fight' is wrong word choice; likely 'performing' or 'acting'. Verb agreement: 'help me' must be 'helps me' to match singular subject 'performing' (subject-verb agreement / third person singular). Suggestions: use first person consistently, choose correct vocabulary ('act in plays' or 'performances'), and ensure verbs agree with their subjects.

× When I was a child I love visited park with my friends for running because I find it's very funny and I have a good time with my friends.

✓ When I was a child I loved visiting the park with my friends to run because I found it very fun and had a good time with them.

Mix of past and present forms: when referring to past time 'When I was a child' all verbs should be in past tense (Past tense issue). 'love' should be 'loved'; 'visited' incorrect after 'love' — use the -ing form 'visiting' or simply 'visit' in past 'visited'. 'park' needs an article 'the park'. 'for running' is better as 'to run'. 'I find' should be 'I found'. 'I have a good time' should be 'I had a good time'. Suggestions: keep past tense consistently for past narratives, use 'visiting' or 'visited the park', and use 'them' to avoid repetition.

× Yes, when I was a child I love running, so when I grow up I still love it because it helped me to improve my stamina. So I try to run every week.

✓ Yes, when I was a child I loved running, and now that I am grown I still love it because it helps me improve my stamina, so I try to run every week.

Tense inconsistency: 'when I was a child I love' mixes past time with present 'love' (Present tense issue). Use past 'loved'. 'when I grow up' should be 'now that I am grown' or 'when I grew up' depending — to express current state use present perfect or present: 'now that I am grown'. 'it helped me' should be 'it helps me' because it is a general benefit continuing to present (Present tense issue). Keep tenses consistent and match meaning: past for childhood, present for current habits. Suggestions: use 'loved' for childhood, 'helps' for ongoing benefit, and 'I try to run every week' is correct.

× Yes, my family also love running like me. This is because it helped them to maintain debt and maintain physical health.

✓ Yes, my family also loves running like me. This is because it helps them maintain fitness and good physical health.

Subject-verb agreement and pronoun/word choice issues: 'my family' is a singular collective noun and takes 'loves' in this context (subject-verb agreement / Third person singular). 'This is because it helped them' mixes past tense 'helped' with present meaning; use 'helps' for ongoing effect (Present tense issue). 'maintain debt' is incorrect word choice; likely intended 'maintain fitness' or 'reduce debt' but context indicates health, so use 'maintain fitness'. Remove unnecessary 'to' after 'helps' and avoid duplicate 'maintain'. Suggestions: use 'my family also loves', use 'helps' for ongoing benefits, and choose appropriate nouns like 'fitness' or 'physical health'.