Hobby— Part 1 Report

Suggestion: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, use correct verb forms and linking words to show sequence and reason. Mention specific details (how often, what you enjoy) in one or two supporting sentences. Keep it under five sentences.

Example: I have several hobbies, such as drawing and painting, and recently I’ve become interested in yoga and Pilates. I joined a Pilates course last week and now practice with friends twice a week because it helps improve my flexibility and overall health.

Suggestion: Use past tense consistently and avoid filler words. Start with a clear topic sentence about your childhood hobby, then give one or two concise reasons why you stopped or why it was unhealthy. Use linking words like 'however' or 'because' for coherence.

Example: When I was a child, I enjoyed playing mobile games. However, I became concerned because I was spending too much time on screens and it affected my eyesight and schoolwork, so I decided to cut down.

Suggestion: Be clear about whether you still have the hobby. Use past and present tense correctly, reduce hesitations, and explain the change with specific reasons and a brief result. Structure: topic sentence, reason, and consequence using linking words like 'because' and 'so'.

Example: I used to be addicted to my mobile phone as a child, but as I grew older I learned about the negative effects of excessive internet use on eyesight and fitness. As a result, I reduced screen time and took up healthier activities like Pilates.

Suggestion: Answer directly and give a specific contrast with one example. Use correct grammar (subject-verb agreement) and smoother linking phrases like 'for example' and 'while'. Keep it to two or three sentences.

Example: No, my hobbies are different from my family’s. For example, my father enjoys running outdoors because he has limited free time, while I prefer indoor activities such as painting and Pilates.

× I have a lot of hobbies, I like drawing, I like painting and recently I'm fall in love with doing yoga and Pilates.

✓ I have a lot of hobbies: I like drawing and painting, and recently I've fallen in love with doing yoga and Pilates.

The phrase 'I'm fall in love' mixes present continuous 'I'm' with base verb 'fall' which is incorrect. The correct form is present perfect 'I've fallen in love' to indicate a recent change of state that continues to the present. Also use a colon or separate clauses for clarity and reduce repetition of 'I like'. Suggestion: Use appropriate verb forms for changes of state (present perfect) and combine similar items to improve fluency.

× I joined a Pilates course last week and then I try I start to practice Pilates with my friends and go to the course because it maintains my healthy.

✓ I joined a Pilates course last week, and then I tried to start practicing Pilates with my friends and attending the course because it helps me stay healthy.

The sentence mixes past ('joined') with present forms ('try I start') incorrectly. Use past 'tried' and an infinitive 'to start' or gerund 'practicing' to express attempted actions. 'Maintains my healthy' is ungrammatical; use 'helps me stay healthy' or 'maintain my health'. Suggestions: maintain consistent tense (past for past events), use 'try to' + base verb, and use 'help' + person + verb to express benefit.

× When I was a child, I like playing mobile games, but I don't think this hobby is, I'm quite addicted to it, but I don't think it's a good and healthy hobbies because, uh, playing online games, it uh, hurt our eyes.

✓ When I was a child, I liked playing mobile games, and I was quite addicted to them, but I don't think it was a good or healthy hobby because playing online games hurt our eyes.

The time marker 'When I was a child' requires past tense, so 'like' should be 'liked'. 'I'm quite addicted' should be 'I was quite addicted' to match past timeframe. 'It's a good and healthy hobbies' has number disagreement; use singular 'a hobby' or plural 'hobbies' consistently. Also remove redundant pronoun 'it' before 'hurt' and use past or present depending on meaning — here 'hurt our eyes' as a general present-tense fact is acceptable, but because referring to past experience use simple past 'hurt'. Suggestions: match tense to time markers, ensure subject-verb number agreement, and avoid filler words.

× Ah, when I was a kid, I'm quite addicted to mobile phone so, but umm, when I grew up, I start to learn more about umm, the negative impacts of serving the Internet resemble it damage our eyes, our healthy physical health, fitness, umm, and therefore I trained.

✓ When I was a kid, I was quite addicted to my mobile phone, but when I grew up I started to learn more about the negative impacts of overusing the Internet: it damages our eyes and physical health and reduces fitness, so I trained myself to use it less.

Mixing past time ('when I was a kid') with present 'I'm' is incorrect; use past 'was'. 'I start to learn' should be past 'I started to learn'. The phrase 'serving the Internet resemble it damage' is ungrammatical; likely intended 'overusing the Internet' or 'excessive Internet use' and 'it damages'. 'Our healthy physical health' is redundant; use 'physical health'. 'I trained' needs object or reflexive 'trained myself' and more precise verb 'to use it less'. Suggestions: keep past tense for past events, use clear nouns for concepts (overusing the Internet), remove redundancy, and use reflexive pronoun when appropriate.

× No, me and my family members, we don't share same hobbies.

✓ No, my family members and I don't share the same hobbies.

Starting with 'me' as subject is incorrect; the subject form 'I' must be used. Also the possessive 'the same hobbies' needs 'the'. Place yourself after other people for natural word order: 'my family members and I'. Suggestions: use subject pronouns for subjects and include articles where required.

× Uh, I think we are quite different. Uh, because, umm, for example, my dad, uh, now that I recently, he's very busy at work, so umm, but he like go running outside.

✓ I think we are quite different. For example, my dad, at least recently, is very busy at work, so he likes to go running outside.

'He like go running' lacks third person singular '-s' and the infinitive 'to' or gerund form. Correct is 'he likes to go running' or 'he likes running'. Also restructure 'now that I recently' which is incorrect — use 'at least recently' or 'recently'. Suggestions: add third-person '-s' for present simple, use 'likes to' or gerund, and fix awkward time expressions.

× I prefer indoor activities.

✓ I prefer indoor activities.

This sentence is grammatically correct. It uses present simple to express a general preference, which matches the context. No change needed.