广告— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, correct grammar (a lot of advertisements, popped up, in the middle of something). Use one or two supporting details with a linking word. Also limit to 3–4 sentences.

範例: Yes — I see a lot of advertisements on my phone and computer. They often pop up while I’m working, which is annoying because they interrupt my concentration. For example, a video ad once started in the middle of an online meeting, and I had to pause my work to close it.

建議: Improve clarity and structure: begin with a direct topic sentence, remove hesitations, use past tense consistently, and give specific details concisely (why it was emotional). Avoid repeating words like 'ad' and correct grammar (was very emotional, the actor).

範例: Yes. I remember a washing-powder commercial from my childhood that impressed me. It showed a little girl dancing and getting her clothes dirty, and then her father gently washing them — the scene felt very touching because it emphasized family care.

建議: Be concise and use linking words: start with a clear topic sentence, use linking words like 'also' or 'therefore', correct phrasing (eye-catching, while travelling), and give one concrete example of what you read. Avoid filler words and repetition.

範例: Yes, I see many adverts on trains and buses. They are often eye-catching posters on the walls and windows, so when people have nothing to do while travelling, they read them and learn about events or new products. For example, I often notice posters for local concerts and special offers at nearby shops.

建議: Give a clear balanced opinion and support it with reasons using linking words (however, because). Correct grammar (they keep playing repeatedly). Keep it to 2–3 sentences and avoid fillers.

範例: I have mixed feelings about advertisements. They can be useful because they inform me about products and services; however, I find repeated or intrusive ads annoying because they interrupt tasks and waste time.

建議: Be specific and concise: state the type of ads you prefer, give a clear reason, and provide a short example. Fix grammar (I’m really into fashion, I check them again and again). Use linking words like 'because' or 'for example'.

範例: I prefer fashion and hairstyle advertisements because I’m really interested in trends and styling ideas. For example, when I see a clothing brand’s ad with new outfits, I often click to see their lookbook and save the styles I like.

× Yes, I do often see a lots of advertisement when I am working on my mobile phone or my desktop or laptop and it's quite annoying when it's often popped up when you are in a middle of something.

✓ Yes, I often see a lot of advertisements when I am using my mobile phone or my desktop or laptop, and it's quite annoying when they often pop up when you are in the middle of something.

Errors: 'a lots of' should be 'a lot of' (article/quantifier) and 'advertisement' should be plural 'advertisements' to match 'a lot of'; 'do often see' is acceptable but 'often see' is more natural; 'working on my mobile phone' -> 'using my mobile phone' is more appropriate collocation; 'it's often popped up' is incorrect passive form and tense — use active 'they often pop up'; 'in a middle of something' should be 'in the middle of something' (article error). Suggestions: use correct articles and plural forms, prefer natural collocations, and use active verbs for pop up.

× Yes, we used to see uh, advertisement it was related to washing powder and the advertisement ad was so interesting that there was a small girl and then she used to dance and then her clothes used to get dirty and her her father used to wash her clothes.

✓ Yes, we used to see an advertisement related to washing powder, and the ad was so interesting: there was a small girl who danced, her clothes would get dirty, and her father would wash them.

Errors: run-on sentence and awkward repetition 'advertisement ad'; article error 'uh, advertisement' should be 'an advertisement'; 'that there was a small girl and then she used to dance' is wordy — use relative clause 'a small girl who danced'; repeated 'her' removed; 'used to' is acceptable for habitual past but 'would' is clearer when describing repeated past events. Suggestions: break long sentences, remove repetition, use appropriate articles, and choose consistent past habitual forms.

× So that was quite emotional ads and that person that has put on.

✓ So those were quite emotional ads, and the person in them left a strong impression.

Errors: 'that was quite emotional ads' mixes singular verb 'was' with plural 'ads' — subject-verb agreement and article errors; 'that person that has put on' is ungrammatical pronoun/reference and tense. Use 'those were' for plural 'ads' and rephrase to clarify meaning (e.g., 'the person in them left a strong impression'). Suggestions: ensure subject and verb agree in number, and use clear pronoun references and correct tense.

× Yes uh, when I'm travelling via train or any other transport like buses, I often see lots of advertisements, uh, written on the wall of the train, Uh, and it's quite a eye capturing.

✓ Yes, when I'm travelling by train or other transport like buses, I often see lots of advertisements written on the walls of the train, and they are quite eye-catching.

Errors: use 'by train' not 'via train' (preposition); 'written on the wall of the train' -> 'on the walls of the train' (plural/wall collocation); 'a eye capturing' incorrect article + adjective order and form — correct is 'eye-catching' and plural subject 'they are'. Suggestions: choose correct prepositions for transport, match singular/plural nouns, and use standard adjective forms.

× And then there is nothing to do when you're sitting at a train or the bus.

✓ And then there is nothing to do when you're sitting on a train or a bus.

Errors: preposition 'at a train' is wrong — use 'on a train'; 'the bus' needs article consistent: 'a bus' or 'the bus' depending on meaning. The original has verb 'is' but preposition error made sentence awkward. Suggestions: use correct prepositions for vehicles ('on') and consistent articles.

× Uh, we, we just read those ads and get some more information about this particular.

✓ We just read those ads and get more information about the products.

Errors: trailing word 'this particular' is incomplete and sentence has filler repetition 'we, we'. Needs an object — 'products' or 'service' completes meaning. Suggestions: remove hesitations in formal answers and provide a complete object after 'about'.

× Uh, it's quite difficult to answer because some ads are really important, uh, if you do not see them, you do not know about the products, but certain ads are really annoying when they keeps on, uh, playing repeatedly.

✓ It's quite difficult to answer because some ads are really important; if you do not see them, you will not know about the products. But certain ads are really annoying when they keep playing repeatedly.

Errors: tense inconsistency and subject-verb agreement: 'you do not know' is acceptable but 'you will not know' fits the conditional; 'they keeps on' should be 'they keep on' or better 'they keep playing' (third person plural agreement and verb form). Suggestions: maintain consistent tense for conditional statements and ensure subject-verb agreement for plural subjects.

× It's quite difficult to say what kind of ad I like, but most of the time whenever I go through uh, clothing, uh, advertisement or any branding or any uh, style hairstyle, I would often go and check them again and again because I really into in fashion.

✓ It's quite difficult to say what kind of ad I like, but most of the time when I see clothing advertisements, branding, or hairstyles, I often go and check them again and again because I'm really into fashion.

Errors: 'go through advertisement' is awkward — use 'see advertisements'; 'style hairstyle' redundant and unclear; 'I would often' shifts mood — use 'I often'; 'I really into in fashion' missing verb 'am' and has extra preposition 'in' — correct 'I'm really into fashion'. Suggestions: use natural collocations ('see advertisements'), remove redundancy, use correct auxiliary verbs, and correct prepositions.

× So I really love those ads if they appeared.

✓ So I really love those ads when they appear.

Errors: tense mismatch 'if they appeared' (past) with general statement — use present simple 'when they appear' for habitual actions; 'if' conditional is incorrect here. Also 'appeared' suggests past single event. Suggestions: use present simple for habitual facts and choose correct conjunction ('when' not 'if') to express recurring events.