广告— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more fluent and concise: give a clear topic sentence, then one or two specific details (what the ad showed and why it was memorable). Reduce fillers (uh, um) and avoid repetition. Use linking words if you add a reason.

範例: Yes. One advertisement that stayed with me as a child was for Horlicks chocolate milk powder. The ad showed happy children drinking the chocolate milk and gaining energy for school, which made it memorable because it linked the product to health and happiness.

建議: Start with a direct answer (Yes/No/Usually) and follow with specific examples and a clear reason. Correct unclear phrases (“over on the rewards”) and avoid filler words. Use linking words such as “for example” or “because” properly.

範例: Yes, I often see advertising on trains and buses. For example, there are large posters on the carriage walls and digital screens at stations, because companies use transport to reach many commuters quickly.

建議: Give a clear opinion first (I like/dislike them), then explain with two concise reasons. Use precise vocabulary (harmful products, target children) and avoid repetition. Use linking words like “however” or “because.”

範例: I like some advertisements, but only to an extent. I dislike many ads because they promote harmful products, such as cigarettes, and sometimes they target children, which I find worrying.

建議: Answer directly and give specific categories with brief reasons. Use linking words (“for example”, “also”) and avoid hesitation. Keep to max 3–4 sentences.

範例: I prefer advertisements about sales and discounts because they help me save money. I also pay attention to ads from healthcare centres that offer free services, since they show social benefit and trustworthy information.

建議: Use correct adverbs (often, not oftenly) and give a clear statement followed by two concise details: how you interact with ads and exceptions. Avoid vague phrases like “I usually prefer going.”

範例: No, I don't see many useful ads on my phone because I usually skip them on apps like Facebook and Instagram. However, I will click on ads that show big sales or discounts if they are relevant to something I need.

× It was about, uh, horlicks milk powder, uh, chocolate powder, which uh, they used to, uh, display that by drinking, uh, that.

✓ It was an advertisement for Horlicks chocolate milk powder, which used to show people drinking it.

The original sentence misused 'display that by drinking that' and had unnecessary pronoun 'they'. Use of '-ing' not required; instead use a relative clause 'which used to show people drinking it'. Also correct article use ('an advertisement for') and simplify to make the sentence grammatical and natural. Suggestion: Use clear relative clauses and avoid redundant pronouns; ensure appropriate article before 'advertisement' and brand/product names are capitalized.

× Nowadays it is very common to see advertising posters and uh, others, uh, screen billboards over on the rewards and on the transport systems like train and, uh, buses, uh, because, uh, nowadays marketing is playing uh, a vital role for the product to save.

✓ Nowadays it is very common to see advertising posters and digital billboards on transport systems like trains and buses because marketing plays a vital role in promoting products.

The original contained awkward phrases ('others, screen billboards', 'over on the rewards', 'for the product to save') and redundant 'nowadays'. Use present simple 'plays' to describe general truth. Replace incorrect preposition 'on the rewards' with correct phrase 'on transport systems' and use 'promoting products' rather than 'to save'. Suggestion: Keep present simple for general facts and use precise vocabulary ('digital billboards', 'promoting').

× I like advice advisement to some extent only because nowadays they are advertising some uh, detrimental bad products like uh, uh, cigarettes and uh, uh, some other kind of drugs which I usually don't like it as it got children attention so I don't prefer watching so much advertisement.

✓ I like some advertisements to a certain extent, but I dislike ads for harmful products such as cigarettes and drugs because they attract children's attention, so I prefer not to watch many advertisements.

Pronoun and noun usage was incorrect and redundant ('I like advice advisement', 'they are advertising', 'which I usually don't like it'). Remove redundant pronouns and correct noun choices ('ads' or 'advertisements'). Use 'attract' not 'got' and match singular/plural ('children's attention'). Use 'prefer not to watch many advertisements' for clarity. Suggestion: Use consistent nouns ('ads'/'advertisements'), avoid redundancy, and ensure pronouns refer clearly to their antecedents.

× I most probably like that advertisement made on sale or their discount on the products.

✓ I probably like advertisements about sales or discounts on products the most.

Original word order is awkward ('that advertisement made on sale or their discount on the products'). Reorder to place 'probably' correctly and use plural 'advertisements' and natural phrasing 'about sales or discounts on products'. Suggestion: Put adverbs like 'probably' before main verbs and use natural noun phrases ('advertisements about sales').

× That kind of advertisement. I really caught my attention and I, uh, love it seeing, uh, and uh.

✓ Those kinds of advertisements really catch my attention, and I love seeing them.

Original contains sentence fragments and incorrect verb forms ('That kind of advertisement.' 'I really caught my attention' conflicts with present preference). Use present simple 'catch' and plural 'those kinds of advertisements' to match general preference. Replace awkward 'love it seeing' with 'love seeing them'. Suggestion: Avoid fragments; keep tense consistent when expressing general likes (present simple).

× I don't oftenly see much advertisements.

✓ I don't often see many advertisements.

'ad oftenly' is nonstandard; correct adverb is 'often'. Also use 'many' with countable noun 'advertisements' rather than 'much'. Suggestion: Use 'often' not 'oftenly' and choose 'many' for countable plural nouns.

× I usually skip it when it comes on my phone through some apps like Facebook Instagram, uh, but for some, which is very beneficial for me like sales on uh, some products, I usually prefer going.

✓ I usually skip them when they appear on my phone through apps like Facebook and Instagram, but I keep ads that are useful to me, such as sales on certain products.

Original used incorrect pronouns ('it' for plural 'ads'), missing conjunction 'and' between 'Facebook' and 'Instagram', and awkward phrase 'prefer going'. Use 'appear' for online ads, plural pronoun 'them', and 'keep' or 'pay attention to' instead of 'prefer going'. Correct prepositions: 'on my phone' is fine; use 'such as' for examples. Suggestion: Match pronoun number with noun, connect items with 'and', and use clearer verbs ('keep', 'pay attention to') for desired actions.