休息— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Answer the question directly in the present tense before adding a recent example. “Around a couple of weeks ago” is awkward; say “A couple of weeks ago.” Also, use “St Kilda Beach” without “the” and avoid repeating “work” in the same sentence. Your answer is relevant and well supported, but it could be more concise and grammatically natural.

範例: I usually go to St Kilda Beach to relax. A couple of weeks ago, my husband and I went there in the evening after work. We walked along the shore and enjoyed the fresh air, which helped us unwind after a stressful week.

建議: Give a complete sentence at the beginning, such as “I usually relax with my husband.” The linking word “however” should be preceded by a full stop or used after a semicolon, and “occasionally” already expresses the idea of “as well.” Make the supporting reason more specific instead of repeating several similar ideas such as “relax,” “switch off,” and “escape from stress.”

範例: I usually relax with my husband because we have similar interests and feel comfortable together. Occasionally, we meet our friends for dinner or go for a walk. Spending time with people I trust helps me forget about my daily responsibilities.

建議: State your main opinion clearly and avoid fillers and unfinished phrases such as “uh” and “or a.” The answer contains several repetitions of “it depends” and has grammatical problems, including “person preferences”; say “personal preferences” or “individual preferences.” Use a clear contrast with “whereas” or “while,” and give one specific example of music that helps you relax.

範例: Yes, I find music relaxing, although it depends on the listener’s preferences. I usually listen to soft instrumental music because it helps me calm down and clear my mind. However, some people may prefer upbeat music because it improves their mood and gives them energy.

建議: Your answer is direct and includes useful details, but “while doing drinking” is incorrect; say “while drinking.” Keep the list grammatically parallel by using “reading,” “sitting,” and “drinking,” or describe these activities in separate clauses. Add a specific type of book or explain when you usually do this to make the answer more developed and natural.

範例: Whenever I have some free time, I like to read a book while sitting on my couch and drinking a cup of coffee. I usually do this in the evening after dinner, when the house is quiet. Reading helps me clear my mind and forget about the pressures of the day.

× Umm, around a couple of weeks ago we went to the Saint Kilda beach in the evening after work.

✓ Umm, about two weeks ago, we went to St Kilda Beach in the evening after work.

A couple of weeks ago is already an approximate expression, so using around before it is awkward. About two weeks ago is more natural. The comma after the introductory time expression also improves sentence punctuation.

× Umm, around a couple of weeks ago we went to the Saint Kilda beach in the evening after work.

✓ Umm, about two weeks ago, we went to St Kilda Beach in the evening after work.

St Kilda Beach is a proper place name, so it normally does not take the article the. If you use the common noun beach instead, say the beach at St Kilda.

× Mostly with my husband, however occasionally we also go out to enjoy our day with our friends as well.

✓ I usually relax mostly with my husband. However, occasionally we also go out and spend time with our friends.

Mostly with my husband is a sentence fragment because it does not contain a verb. Adding I usually relax makes it a complete sentence. The second sentence also avoids the unnecessary combination of enjoy our day and as well.

× Yes, but to some extent personally I believe it depends on the type of the music you listen to and also ultimately it depends on the person preferences as well you are.

✓ Yes, but to some extent, I believe it depends on the type of music you listen to. Ultimately, it also depends on people's preferences.

The noun music is used generally in this sentence, so it should not be preceded by the. The natural expression is the type of music, not the type of the music. The original sentence also contains an extra and confusing you are at the end.

× Yes, but to some extent personally I believe it depends on the type of the music you listen to and also ultimately it depends on the person preferences as well you are.

✓ Yes, but to some extent, I believe it depends on the type of music you listen to. Ultimately, it also depends on people's preferences.

Person preferences is incorrect because preferences is plural and needs a plural possessive form. People's preferences means the preferences of people. If referring to one person, use a person's preferences.

× Personally I like uh, some calm and relaxed music.

✓ Personally, I like some calm and relaxing music.

Relaxed usually describes a person or an animal that feels calm. Relaxing describes something that causes people to feel calm, so relaxing is the appropriate adjective for music.

× But for some people it would be a fast beat or a. Another type of music.

✓ But for some people, it might be music with a fast beat or another type of music.

Might is more appropriate than would when expressing a possibility or personal preference. The phrase would be a fast beat is not suitable here because the subject is music, not a specific hypothetical result.

× But for some people it would be a fast beat or a. Another type of music.

✓ But for some people, it might be music with a fast beat or another type of music.

The original sentence is incorrectly divided after a. Another type of music is not a complete sentence, and a cannot stand alone as an article. Keep the alternatives in one complete sentence: music with a fast beat or another type of music.

× Whenever I get the chance, I enjoy reading a book, sitting on my couch or lying on my bed while doing drinking a cup of coffee.

✓ Whenever I get the chance, I enjoy reading a book, sitting on my couch, or lying on my bed while drinking a cup of coffee.

After while, use the present participle directly when describing an action happening at the same time. Therefore, say while drinking, not while doing drinking. The verb do is unnecessary here.