休息— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be clearer and more concise. Start with a direct topic sentence naming the place, then give one or two specific reasons using appropriate vocabulary. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases like “rice burn.” Use linking words (for example, because, so) to connect ideas. Keep to maximum five sentences.

範例: I usually relax at a café called Brown Coffee near the Riverside. I like it because the quiet atmosphere and river view help me clear my mind after a busy day. Also, the smell of fresh coffee and soft music makes me feel calm and focused.

建議: Begin with a clear topic sentence stating who you relax with. Give one or two concise reasons and use linking words (for example, because, so) to improve coherence. Avoid confusing grammar and redundancy—use correct tense and pronouns. Keep sentences short and natural.

範例: I usually relax by myself. I prefer being alone because it helps me reflect and recharge without interruptions, so I feel happier and more centered afterward.

建議: Answer directly then give a specific reason and an example. Fix grammar (subject-verb agreement) and unclear phrases (e.g., “very like seeing,” “invest,” “feel like real”). Use linking words such as “because” or “for example.” Limit to three sentences for clarity.

範例: Yes, I find listening to music very relaxing because it calms my mind after a stressful day. For example, I often listen to Taylor Swift since her melodies and lyrics help me unwind and feel more positive.

建議: Start with a clear topic sentence listing one or two main activities. Use correct vocabulary and grammar (e.g., exercise types, ‘sometimes’, ‘friends’, ‘lose weight’). Provide specific benefits with linking words and avoid irrelevant or unclear claims. Keep it within four sentences.

範例: I usually relax by going for walks and doing cardio exercises. Sometimes I play tennis with a few friends because it is fun, helps me stay healthy, and keeps me fit.

× Recently I usually go to relax at brown coffees near Riverside because I found it very fresh and clear my mind after a busy day.

✓ Recently I usually go to relax at Brown Coffee near Riverside because I find it very refreshing and it clears my mind after a busy day.

The sentence mixes past and present tenses ('found' with 'usually go'). Use present simple for habitual actions: 'find' instead of 'found'. Also 'clear my mind' needs subject and verb agreement, so use 'it clears my mind'. Change 'fresh' to 'refreshing' to use correct adjective form for an experience.

× Recently I usually go to relax at brown coffees near Riverside because I found it very fresh and clear my mind after a busy day.

✓ Recently I usually go to relax at Brown Coffee near Riverside because I find it very refreshing and it clears my mind after a busy day.

The place name should be capitalized and treated as a singular establishment: use 'Brown Coffee' (proper noun) not 'brown coffees'. Also no extra article is needed beyond the name. Using the correct name and capitalization improves clarity.

× It helped me refresh and restart because of the fresh atmosphere and rice burn.

✓ It helps me refresh and restart because of the fresh atmosphere and rice burning.

The sentence uses past tense 'helped' while context implies a habitual or current effect; use present simple 'helps'. 'Rice burn' is awkward; use the -ing form 'rice burning' to describe an ongoing smell or activity that contributes to the atmosphere.

× Because of the rice burn it atmosphere it keep me motivated.

✓ Because of the rice burning atmosphere, it keeps me motivated.

Adjective order and forms are incorrect. 'Rice burn it atmosphere' is ungrammatical; use 'rice burning atmosphere' to describe the scent. Subject-verb agreement: use 'keeps' with singular subject 'atmosphere'. Add a comma for clarity.

× To be honest, I usually relax independently because I don't want anyone to discover me during my free time and I'm the kind of person who enjoy being alone because being alone make made me feel understand more about myself, something about me happy than with anyone else.

✓ To be honest, I usually relax alone because I don't want anyone to disturb me during my free time, and I'm the kind of person who enjoys being alone because being alone helps me understand myself better and makes me happier than being with anyone else.

Multiple problems: 'discover me' is wrong choice of verb; 'disturb me' is appropriate. Pronoun and verb agreement: 'who enjoy' should be 'who enjoys'. Tense and verb forms 'make made me feel understand' are incorrect; use 'helps me understand' and 'makes me happier'. Use parallel structure and clearer comparisons ('happier than being with anyone else').

× I'm the kind of person who enjoy being alone because being alone make made me feel understand more about myself, something about me happy than with anyone else.

✓ I'm the kind of person who enjoys being alone because being alone helps me understand myself better and makes me happier than being with anyone else.

Subject-verb agreement for third person singular: after 'who' referring to 'person', use 'enjoys' not 'enjoy'. Also use 'helps' and 'makes' (third person singular) and correct verb forms and word order.

× Absolutely, listening to music is very like seeing because it help me invest after a stressful day.

✓ Absolutely, listening to music is very relaxing because it helps me unwind after a stressful day.

The original uses incorrect metaphor 'very like seeing' and wrong verb 'help' (should be 'helps' for third person singular). 'Unwind' is a better verb than 'invest' in this context. Present simple fits general truth.

× Especially listen to Taylor Swift music because I love her so much.

✓ I especially listen to Taylor Swift's music because I love her so much.

Sentence fragment fixed by adding subject 'I'. Possessive form 'Taylor Swift's music' is more natural. Use present simple 'listen' for habitual action.

× Her music help me relax and feel like real.

✓ Her music helps me relax and feel real.

Use third person singular verb 'helps'. 'Feel like real' is ungrammatical; say 'feel real' or 'feel more real'.

× Swell, I usually go for a walk and exercise, cardio and sometime play.

✓ Well, I usually go for a walk and exercise, do cardio, and sometimes play sports.

'Swell' is wrong choice of interjection; 'well' is appropriate. Use parallel structure: 'go for a walk and exercise, do cardio, and sometimes play sports'. Use adverb 'sometimes'.

× Find it uh play tennis with my few friends because I found it very relaxed and improves healthy.

✓ I often play tennis with a few friends because I find it very relaxing and it improves my health.

'My few friends' should be 'a few friends'. Tense consistency: use present 'I find' instead of 'I found'. Adjective/adverb and noun forms: 'relaxed' -> 'relaxing', 'improves healthy' -> 'improves my health'.

× Especially help me lose wine and maintain glow skin.

✓ It especially helps me lose weight and maintain glowing skin.

'Lose wine' is a typo for 'lose weight'. Use 'helps' for third person singular. 'Glow skin' should be 'glowing skin' (adjective form). Maintain correct word order.