自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Answer directly, then organize the extra information into shorter sentences. Avoid repeating “my first bike,” and use the past tense consistently (“was,” “had”). Use natural phrases such as “when I was about five” and “a penguin sticker,” and say “training wheels” if you mean the two extra wheels on the bike.

範例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. My father gave it to me when I was about five, and it was blue with a penguin sticker on the frame. It also had training wheels, which helped me learn to ride.

建議: Give a clear answer first and clarify that you mean Indonesia without the awkward phrase “our country, which is in Indonesia.” Use “cycling” or “riding a bike,” rather than “taking bike,” and say “to stay healthy” instead of “if you love to be healthy.” Add a specific example, and keep the contrast between bikes and motor vehicles clear.

範例: Bikes are popular in Indonesia, but they are not the main way people get around. Most people use motorcycles or cars because they are more convenient for daily travel. However, some people ride bikes for exercise, especially in parks or on weekends.

× Yes I used to have a bike when I was a child and my first bike I got it when I was like 5 years old.

✓ Yes, I used to have a bike when I was a child, and I got my first bike when I was about five years old.

The phrase my first bike I got it uses a noun phrase and a pronoun to refer to the same object, making it redundant. Use either I got my first bike or My first bike was something I got. About is also a more natural way to express an approximate age.

× I got it from my father and if I remember correctly my first bike color was blue and it has a detail on Penguin sticker on it and it has four wheel.

✓ I got it from my father, and if I remember correctly, my first bike was blue and had a Penguin sticker on it.

The sentence describes a bike the student had in childhood, so the verbs should be in the past tense. Use was and had rather than has. The correction also presents the sticker detail clearly.

× I got it from my father and if I remember correctly my first bike color was blue and it has a detail on Penguin sticker on it and it has four wheel.

✓ I got it from my father, and if I remember correctly, my first bike was blue and had four wheels.

Four refers to more than one wheel, so the plural form wheels is required. Add -s to the singular noun wheel.

× I think yes, it is popular, but our country, which is in Indonesia, it's not very common for us to go around with bike.

✓ I think so. Bikes are popular, but in Indonesia, it is not very common for us to get around by bike.

The original sentence has an awkward clause structure: our country, which is in Indonesia, is followed by another subject, it. This makes the sentence unclear. State the location directly with in Indonesia and use a separate clause.

× I think yes, it is popular, but our country, which is in Indonesia, it's not very common for us to go around with bike.

✓ I think so. Bikes are popular, but in Indonesia, it is not very common for us to get around by bike.

Use by bike to describe a way of traveling. With a bike usually means accompanied by or using a particular bike, and it is not the natural expression for traveling by bicycle.

× We are mostly using motorcycles or cars.

✓ We mostly use motorcycles or cars.

The sentence describes a general habit, so the simple present is more appropriate than the present progressive. Use use rather than are using for a regular pattern.

× But if you love to be healthy, then some people are taking bike to go everywhere around.

✓ But if you want to be healthy, some people take a bike to get around.

This describes a general behavior, so use the simple present take rather than the present progressive are taking. The phrase if you want to be healthy is also a clear way to introduce the condition.

× But if you love to be healthy, then some people are taking bike to go everywhere around.

✓ But if you want to be healthy, some people take a bike to get around.

Bike is a singular countable noun, so it needs an article. Use a bike when referring to one nonspecific bicycle.