自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 질문에 바로 답하고 과거 경험을 설명하려는 점은 좋습니다. 다만 과거 이야기이므로 시제를 일관되게 과거형으로 사용하세요(예: “didn’t have,” “rode”). 또한 20세 때 처음 자전거를 탔다고 한 뒤 25세 때 자전거 타는 법을 배웠다고 해서 의미가 모호합니다. 20세에는 시도만 했고 25세에 제대로 배운 것인지 구분해 설명하고, “And”로 문장을 시작하기보다 자연스러운 연결어를 사용하세요.

範例: I didn’t have a bike when I was a child, and I couldn’t ride one. I first tried riding a bike when I was twenty, but I didn’t learn properly until I was twenty-five.

建議: 한국에서 자전거가 인기를 얻고 있는지 먼저 분명하게 답하세요. “I think”와 “in my opinion”처럼 같은 의견 표현을 반복하지 말고, “bike users are growing” 대신 “the number of cyclists is growing”처럼 자연스러운 표현을 사용하세요. 건강에 대한 관심이 높아졌다는 이유를 구체적으로 설명하고, 문장을 완성해 답변을 마무리하세요.

範例: Yes, I think cycling is becoming more popular in Korea. The number of cyclists is growing, partly because more people are interested in staying healthy. For example, many people ride bikes along rivers or in parks for exercise.

× I don't have a bike when I was young.

✓ I didn't have a bike when I was young.

The sentence refers to a past period, so use the simple past negative didn't have instead of don't have.

× And the first time I ride a bike was I was twenty years old.

✓ And the first time I rode a bike was when I was twenty years old.

The event happened in the past, so ride should be changed to its simple past form, rode.

× And the first time I ride a bike was I was twenty years old.

✓ And the first time I rode a bike was when I was twenty years old.

The original sentence incorrectly places two clauses together without a suitable connector. Use when to introduce the time clause: the first time I rode a bike was when I was twenty years old.

× Here is surely I think in my opinion in Korean bike users are growing.

✓ I think the number of bike users in Korea is certainly growing.

The original sentence has an incomplete opening phrase and repeats the same opinion with I think and in my opinion. Organize the sentence around one clear subject and verb.

× Here is surely I think in my opinion in Korean bike users are growing.

✓ I think the number of bike users in Korea is certainly growing.

Use in Korea to refer to the country. In Korean refers to the Korean language.

× First thing is the interest in the in health health was increasing.

✓ The first reason is that interest in health is increasing.

The original sentence contains repeated words and an incomplete structure. Use the first reason is that to introduce a complete clause.

× First thing is the interest in the in health health was increasing.

✓ The first reason is that interest in health is increasing.

The sentence describes a current trend, so use the present progressive is increasing rather than the past progressive was increasing.

× First thing is the interest in the in health health was increasing.

✓ The first reason is that interest in health is increasing.

In this general meaning, interest in health does not need the before interest. Use the first reason because first is specifying which reason is being discussed.