自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Answer directly, then describe how you learned and who you rode with. Avoid repeating “after school” and “free time”; say “in my free time after school.” Use consistent past tense: “when I got better” and “I would ride.” Also, “some free time” or simply “free time” is more natural than “a free time.” Break the long final sentence into shorter, connected ideas.

範例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. I taught myself to ride it outside our house and practised in my free time after school. Once I got better, I would ride around the neighborhood with my cousins and friends.

建議: Give a clear comparison between urban and rural areas, and support it with your personal experience. Replace “more on in” with “especially in,” and say “people use bikes” for a general habit. Use “the city where I live” and “cars” rather than “where I am living” and “more of cars.” Keep the past-tense detail consistent when describing your time in the countryside.

範例: Yes, I think bikes are popular in my country, especially in the countryside. In the city where I live, people tend to rely more on cars, but when I lived in the countryside, many people used bikes for getting around. Seeing them ride inspired me to learn.

× So every time when I had a free time from school after school I would practice riding it and when I'm good at it I will ride it with my cousins, neighbors and friends.

✓ So every time I had free time after school, I would practice riding it, and when I got good at it, I would ride it with my cousins, neighbors, and friends.

Every time already introduces a time clause, so adding when is redundant. Use every time I had rather than every time when I had.

× So every time when I had a free time from school after school I would practice riding it and when I'm good at it I will ride it with my cousins, neighbors and friends.

✓ So every time when I had free time from school after school I would practice riding it and when I'm good at it I will ride it with my cousins, neighbors and friends.

Free time is an uncountable noun in this context, so it does not take the article a. Say had free time.

× So every time when I had a free time from school after school I would practice riding it and when I'm good at it I will ride it with my cousins, neighbors and friends.

✓ So every time when I had a free time from school after school I would practice riding it and when I got good at it I would ride it with my cousins, neighbors and friends.

The speaker is describing a past routine, so the verbs in the final clause should also refer to the past. Use got and would ride instead of I'm and will ride.

× I think bikes are popular in my country but more on in the countryside because in the city where I am living right now we use more of cars.

✓ I think bikes are popular in my country, but more so in the countryside because in the city where I am living right now we use more of cars.

More on is not the correct expression for saying that something is more common in a particular place. Use more so in the countryside.

× I think bikes are popular in my country but more on in the countryside because in the city where I am living right now we use more of cars.

✓ I think bikes are popular in my country but more on in the countryside because in the city where I am living right now we use more cars.

More of is generally used before a determiner or pronoun, as in more of the cars. When comparing the number of cars used in general, say more cars.

× But back when I was living in the countryside, a lot of people are using bikes.

✓ But back when I was living in the countryside, a lot of people were using bikes.

The sentence describes a situation in the past, so the verb should also be in the past. Use were using instead of are using.