自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 回答切题，也提供了自行车来源和用途等细节。注意用过去时描述童年经历：将“at the age around 7:00 to 8:00”改为“when I was around seven or eight”，将“own”改为“owned”，并将“purchased by my father and giving me”改为“bought by my father and given to me”。“comfortable for short kids”不太自然，可具体说明车适合你的身高，或描述练习骑车的感受。减少“uh”等填充词，让表达更流畅。

範例: Yes, I did. I had a small blue bike when I was around seven or eight. My father bought it for me as a birthday present, and it was the perfect size for me. I used it to practise riding around our neighbourhood.

建議: 先直接回答“自行车在你们国家很受欢迎”，并注意主谓一致：说“bikes are pretty popular”，而不是“it's pretty popular”。可以围绕共享单车补充一个清楚、具体的例子，例如骑车去附近咖啡馆或商店。删去重复的“You know”和“the shared bike”，并用“Besides”或“As a result”等连接词组织理由和结果。结尾句不完整，应补上宾语，例如“many people can afford to use them”。

範例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country, especially shared bikes. For example, young people often use them to get to a nearby café or shop. They’re convenient for short trips, and they’re usually affordable. As a result, you can see them on many city streets.

× Well, yes, when I was a child, at the age around 7:00 to 8:00, I indeed own a bicycle which was purchased by my father and giving me as a present for my birthday.

✓ Well, yes. When I was a child, at around the age of seven or eight, I indeed owned a bicycle which was purchased by my father and given to me as a present for my birthday.

这段话是在回忆童年经历，应使用过去时。原句中的“own”是一般现在时，应改为过去式“owned”。建议描述过去发生的事情时，检查主要动词是否使用了过去时。

× Well, yes, when I was a child, at the age around 7:00 to 8:00, I indeed own a bicycle which was purchased by my father and giving me as a present for my birthday.

✓ Well, yes. When I was a child, at around the age of seven or eight, I indeed owned a bicycle which was purchased by my father and given to me as a present for my birthday.

表示“在……岁时”通常说“at the age of...”；原句缺少介词“of”，且“at the age around”搭配不自然。可以说“at around the age of seven or eight”。年龄应写作“seven or eight”，而不是表示时间的“7:00 to 8:00”。

× Well, yes, when I was a child, at the age around 7:00 to 8:00, I indeed own a bicycle which was purchased by my father and giving me as a present for my birthday.

✓ Well, yes. When I was a child, at around the age of seven or eight, I indeed owned a bicycle which was purchased by my father and given to me as a present for my birthday.

“which was purchased ... and given ...”中的两个动作都使用被动结构，应保持形式平行。“was”后应接过去分词，因此“giving”应改为“given”。建议并列使用相同的语法结构，例如“was bought and given”。

× Yes, it's pretty popular, especially among youngsters.

✓ Yes, they’re pretty popular, especially among youngsters.

这里的“they”指前文复数的“bikes”，所以不应使用单数代词“it”。代词的单复数应与它所指代的名词一致。

× You know, younger people, you know, if you want to go for a a short trip, for example, like grabbing a coffee, uh, in a community from the community store ground corner, you can just choose the shared bike, the shared bike to go for it.

✓ Younger people can take a shared bike if they want to go on a short trip—for example, to grab a coffee at a community store around the corner.

原句先以“younger people”为话题，随后改用“you”，人称指代不一致。修改后用“younger people”和“they”保持一致。建议同一句中保持相同的人称视角；例如谈论一般的年轻人时，使用“they”。

× You know, younger people, you know, if you want to go for a a short trip, for example, like grabbing a coffee, uh, in a community from the community store ground corner, you can just choose the shared bike, the shared bike to go for it.

✓ Younger people can take a shared bike if they want to go on a short trip—for example, to grab a coffee at a community store around the corner.

“a a short trip”中冠词“a”重复了一次，应只保留一个。使用不定冠词时，注意不要因口语重复而重复写出冠词。