自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Answer directly and use more natural grammar and prepositions. Say “when I was three” instead of “on my age of three,” “a blue bike” instead of “one on blue color,” and “with flowers on it” instead of “with the flower on it.” You can also remove fillers such as “uh” and connect the events more smoothly with “However” or “so.” Keep the answer to three or four clear sentences.

範例: Yes, I had two bikes when I was three. My father gave me a blue one for my third birthday, but I didn’t like the color. So, he exchanged it for a pink bike with flowers on it, and that became my favorite.

建議: Begin with a clear topic sentence, such as “Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country.” Avoid unclear phrases like “they don't have a snowy” and “they like it there.” Use specific vocabulary such as “it rarely snows,” “a common form of transport,” and “in rural areas.” Organize the answer with a reason and examples, and avoid repetition and unfinished phrases.

範例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country, especially because it rarely snows and the weather is usually suitable for cycling. Many children ride them to school, while adults use them for short daily trips. They are also common in rural areas, where people often cycle between nearby villages.

× Yes, actually I had two bikes, uh, on my age of three.

✓ Yes, actually, I had two bikes when I was three years old.

On is not used with age in this expression. Use when I was three years old or at the age of three. The revised sentence also sounds more natural in spoken English.

× On my 3rd birthday my father got me one, it was on blue color.

✓ On my third birthday, my father got me one. It was blue.

We do not say on blue color. To describe the color of something, use the adjective directly: it was blue. The phrase on my third birthday is correct.

× On my 3rd birthday my father got me one, it was on blue color.

✓ On my third birthday, my father got me one. It was blue.

The original sentence joins two complete sentences with only a comma. This is a comma splice. Separate the ideas with a period, or join them with a suitable conjunction.

× Then I didn't like blue so he gave me a pink one with the flower on it and that's my favorite.

✓ Then I didn't like blue, so he gave me a pink one with a flower on it, and that is my favorite.

Flower is a singular countable noun, so it normally needs an article. Use a flower when mentioning one nonspecific flower. The conjunctions are separated with commas to make the sentence easier to follow.

× I think here because of the weather they don't have a snowy so people like it there and they it's a popular daily thing.

✓ I think that, because of the weather, they do not have snow, so people like using bikes, and bikes are a popular part of daily life.

Snowy is an adjective and cannot be used as a noun after a. The noun snow is needed here. Also, daily thing is unclear, so popular part of daily life expresses the intended meaning more clearly.

× I think here because of the weather they don't have a snowy so people like it there and they it's a popular daily thing.

✓ I think that, because of the weather, they do not have snow, so people like using bikes, and bikes are a popular part of daily life.

The clause they it's is not grammatically complete because it incorrectly combines the subject they with the contraction it's. Use they are instead. The sentence also needs clearer clause organization and punctuation.

× People use it when they especially when they have to go to school or on village.

✓ People use bikes especially when they have to go to school or travel to a village.

Especially should be placed directly before the situation it emphasizes: especially when they have to go to school. The repeated when is unnecessary.

× People use it when they especially when they have to go to school or on village.

✓ People use bikes especially when they have to go to school or travel to a village.

On is not the correct preposition before village in this meaning. Use to a village when describing movement toward a village. Because village is singular and countable, it also needs the article a.