自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Answer the question directly and use accurate, natural vocabulary. There appear to be several pronunciation or word-choice errors, such as “bite,” “personal sources,” “bodies,” and “third world base.” Replace them with clear expressions such as “bike,” “enough money,” “bought,” and “three-wheeled bicycle,” if that is what you mean. Also, “That was our ritual back again” is unnatural; say “That became our daily routine.” Keep the answer to three or four clear sentences and connect the details logically.

範例: Yes, I did. My dad bought me a small bike when I was about six years old. I remember that we used to go to a nearby park and ride it together every morning. It was a special part of my childhood and soon became our daily routine.

建議: Give a direct, grammatically complete opening sentence, for example, “Yes, bikes are very popular in India.” Avoid unnecessary repetition of “I believe” and use “I live in India,” not “I stay in India,” in this context. Improve sentence structure by saying “Many delivery workers use bikes to transport food, and some commuters ride them to work.” Be more precise when discussing different groups: instead of “not just the poor but also the rich,” explain that people from different income groups buy bikes for convenience, exercise, or environmental reasons.

範例: Yes, bikes are very popular in India. Many food-delivery workers use them, and a lot of people also ride to work because they are affordable and convenient in heavy traffic. In addition, people from different income groups buy bicycles for exercise and to maintain a healthy lifestyle.

× Most of the restaurant deliveries and even a few of the workers they transport to work on a bike.

✓ Most restaurant deliveries are made by bike, and even a few workers travel to work by bike.

The original sentence has an unclear structure because the subject is followed by the unnecessary pronoun they, and there is no suitable verb for restaurant deliveries. Use two coordinated clauses with clear subjects and verbs. Also, travel to work is the appropriate verb phrase for people going to work.

× I believe that not just the poor but also the rich for their health have purchased a bike.

✓ I believe that not only poor people but also rich people have purchased bikes for their health.

The phrase for their health is placed inside the subject and interrupts the sentence structure. Place it after the main verb and object. Using poor people, rich people, and bikes also makes the meaning clearer when discussing groups of people in general.