自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Answer directly and develop your response with a clear time sequence. Avoid repetition and hesitation, and use more natural vocabulary: say “training wheels” instead of “side helper wheels,” “ride” or “balance” instead of “dive and bounce,” and “remove them” instead of repeating “the side helpers.” Also, correct the grammar in “as time went on” by saying “as time went on, I learned...”

範例: Yes, I did. I got my first bike when I was about eight years old, and I really enjoyed learning how to ride it. At first, I used training wheels, but as time went on, I learned to balance properly and removed them.

建議: Give a direct answer followed by one clear reason and a result. Reduce hesitation and repetition, especially “in my country” and “quicker and faster,” since these ideas are redundant. Use “motorbikes” if you mean motorcycles, and say “weave through traffic” rather than “are used to the bob and weave through the traffic.” You could also add a specific detail about commuting or convenience.

範例: Yes, bikes, especially motorbikes, are very popular in India. Since many cities have heavy traffic, people use them to weave through congested streets and reach their destinations more quickly. They are also cheaper and easier to park than cars.

× I used to have the side helper wheels, uh, when I first got them, but then I as time went on, I learned how to dive and bounce the cycle and remove the side helpers.

✓ I used to have side helper wheels when I first got my bike, but as time went on, I learned how to ride and balance it and eventually remove the side helper wheels.

The phrase 'but then I as time went on' has an incorrect sentence structure. Use 'but as time went on' to introduce a change over time. The pronoun 'it' clearly refers to the bike, and 'eventually' makes the sequence of events more natural.

× I used to have the side helper wheels, uh, when I first got them, but then I as time went on, I learned how to dive and bounce the cycle and remove the side helpers.

✓ I used to have side helper wheels when I first got my bike, but as time went on, I learned how to ride and balance it and eventually remove the side helper wheels.

The pronoun 'them' is unclear because the student had just mentioned getting a bike, which is singular. Say 'when I first got my bike' or 'when I first got it' so the reference is clear. Also, 'it' correctly refers to the singular noun 'bike'.

× Yes, bikes are, uh, really popular in my country because, uh, my, in my country in India, there's a lot of traffic. So bikes are used to the Bob and weave through the traffic and get to places quicker, uh, and faster.

✓ Yes, bikes are really popular in my country, India, because there is a lot of traffic. People use bikes to bob and weave through the traffic and get to places more quickly.

The phrase 'because, uh, my, in my country in India' is disorganized and repeats the same information. A clearer structure is 'because there is a lot of traffic in my country, India.' The phrase 'bikes are used to the Bob and weave' is also incorrectly structured. Use the active construction 'people use bikes to bob and weave.'