自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 질문에 직접 답하고 이유와 경험을 덧붙인 점은 좋습니다. 하지만 ‘riding bike’는 ‘riding a bike’로, ‘how how do I ride bike’는 ‘how to ride a bike’로 고쳐야 합니다. 또한 ‘I failed’는 의미가 다소 모호하므로 ‘I couldn’t learn how to ride one’처럼 구체적으로 표현하세요. ‘because actually’와 같은 불필요한 표현을 줄이고, 두 문장 정도로 자연스럽게 연결하면 더 효과적입니다.

範例: No, I didn’t have a bike when I was a child because I was never very good at riding one. My father tried to teach me, but I couldn’t learn how to balance properly.

建議: 자전거의 인기를 공공 자전거 시스템과 저렴한 이용료에 연결한 점은 좋습니다. 다만 ‘younger generations’보다 ‘young people’, ‘public bike system’보다 ‘public bike-sharing system’이 더 자연스럽습니다. ‘umm’과 ‘AKA’를 삭제하고, 한국의 서비스명은 ‘known as Ddareungi’처럼 정확히 설명하세요. ‘because’ 뒤에 이유를 명확히 제시하고, ‘As a result’ 같은 연결어를 사용하면 답변의 흐름이 더 자연스러워집니다.

範例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country, especially among young people. Many of them use public bike-sharing systems, such as Ddareungi in Seoul, because they are affordable and convenient. As a result, people can travel short distances without spending much money.

× No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child because actually I'm not good at riding bike.

✓ No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child because I wasn't good at riding a bike.

The question asks about a past situation, so the verb describing the student's ability should also be in the past tense: wasn't, not am not. Use was or were when describing a past state.

× No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child because actually I'm not good at riding bike.

✓ No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child because I wasn't good at riding a bike.

Bike is a singular countable noun, so it needs an article. Use a bike when referring to a bike in general or one nonspecific bike.

× Of course my father tried to teach me how how do I ride bike, but I failed.

✓ Of course, my father tried to teach me how to ride a bike, but I failed.

After teach me how, use an infinitive structure: how to ride. Do not use the question form how do I ride inside this sentence. The repeated how should also be removed.

× Of course my father tried to teach me how how do I ride bike, but I failed.

✓ Of course, my father tried to teach me how to ride a bike, but I failed.

Bike is a singular countable noun, so it requires an article. Use a bike in this context because the speaker is referring to riding a bike generally.

× Yes, I think bikes are popular in my country because umm almost all younger generations use umm public bike system umm AKA it's known as darni in Korean umm and it's so cheap so many people can save their money.

✓ Yes, I think bikes are popular in my country because almost all younger people use the public bike system, which is known as Ddareungi in Korean, and it is so cheap that many people can save money.

Public bike system is a specific system, so it should be preceded by the definite article the. Also, save money is the natural expression when speaking generally; the possessive determiner their is unnecessary here.

× Yes, I think bikes are popular in my country because umm almost all younger generations use umm public bike system umm AKA it's known as darni in Korean umm and it's so cheap so many people can save their money.

✓ Yes, I think bikes are popular in my country because almost all younger people use the public bike system, which is known as Ddareungi in Korean, and it is so cheap that many people can save money.

When expressing a result after so plus an adjective, use the structure so adjective that clause. Therefore, say so cheap that many people can save money, not so cheap so many people can save money.