自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Answer directly and add one clear supporting detail. The phrase “there was also when I first learned to ride a bike” is grammatically incomplete and unclear. Explain the connection between the second bike and learning to ride, and use a linking word such as “Additionally” or “I remember that.” Avoid repeating “when I was a child” if the meaning is already clear.

範例: Yes, I had two bikes when I was a child. My first one was a birthday present when I was eight, and I learned to ride it with my father’s help. I still remember feeling very proud when I could ride without support.

建議: Your answer has a clear opinion, a relevant reason, and a logical result. Improve naturalness by saying “the temperature is around 30 degrees or higher,” “air-conditioned transportation,” and “cars and buses.” Replace “avoid the cycling” with “avoid cycling,” and avoid hesitation such as “uh.” You could also mention a contrasting example, such as people cycling in the early morning or in cooler areas, to make the answer more developed.

範例: I don’t think bikes are very popular in my country because it is usually hot and sunny, with temperatures of around 30 degrees or higher. As a result, many people prefer air-conditioned transportation, such as cars and buses, instead of cycling. However, some people still ride bikes early in the morning, when the weather is cooler.

× One of them was a birthday present when I was 8, and there was also when I first learned to ride a bike.

✓ One of them was a birthday present when I was eight, and the other one was given to me when I first learned to ride a bike.

The phrase there was also is incomplete because the noun that follows there was is missing. Use the other one was given to me to clearly identify the second bike and describe what happened to it.

× I don't think so, because in my country it's always hot, uh, sunny and with the temperature around 30° or higher.

✓ I don't think so because my country is always hot and sunny, with temperatures around 30°C or higher.

The original sentence uses an unbalanced structure: hot, sunny and with the temperature. The adjectives hot and sunny should be followed by a matching phrase. The revised sentence uses the natural structure my country is hot and sunny, with temperatures around 30°C or higher.

× As a result, many people choose to ride with the air conditioned transport like cars and bus and avoid the cycling to prevent heat exhaustion.

✓ As a result, many people choose to travel in air-conditioned vehicles such as cars and buses and avoid cycling to prevent heat exhaustion.

Bus should be plural because it refers to cars and buses in general. The plural form buses is required when listing more than one type of vehicle.

× As a result, many people choose to ride with the air conditioned transport like cars and bus and avoid the cycling to prevent heat exhaustion.

✓ As a result, many people choose to travel in air-conditioned vehicles such as cars and buses and avoid cycling to prevent heat exhaustion.

We normally say travel in a car, bus, or other vehicle, not ride with transport. Use the preposition in when referring to the vehicle in which someone travels.

× As a result, many people choose to ride with the air conditioned transport like cars and bus and avoid the cycling to prevent heat exhaustion.

✓ As a result, many people choose to travel in air-conditioned vehicles such as cars and buses and avoid cycling to prevent heat exhaustion.

Cycling is used as a general activity, so it does not need the definite article the. The phrase the cycling is unnatural in this context. Also, air-conditioned vehicles is a more natural noun phrase than the air-conditioned transport when referring to cars and buses generally.