自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Answer the question directly in the first sentence, then add one or two specific details. Avoid repetition of words such as “amazing” and use more natural expressions: “it was relatively inexpensive” instead of “the cost ... was quite less.” Use the past perfect or simple past consistently because you are describing a childhood experience: “I really enjoyed all the rides I took on it.” Also, “called” or “which I called” sounds more natural than “named” for a bike.

範例: Yes, I had a black Series 70 bike when I was a child. It was relatively inexpensive, costing around 70,000 Pakistani rupees, so my parents bought it for me. I used to ride it around my neighborhood, and I really enjoyed the freedom it gave me.

建議: Give a clear opinion first and support it with a logical explanation. Avoid repeating “costs” and correct the subject-verb agreement: “cars, which cost...” The prices are confusing because “20 lakhs” and “30,00,000 Pakistani rupees” should be expressed consistently. Replace “this really admires them and that way to purchase bike” with a natural result, such as “This makes bikes an affordable and practical option for many people.” Use “buy a bike” or “purchase a bike” with an article.

範例: Yes, bikes are extremely popular in Pakistan, mainly because they are much more affordable than cars. A car can cost several million Pakistani rupees, whereas a reliable motorcycle may cost only around 100,000 to 150,000 rupees. As a result, many people choose bikes for commuting because they are economical and easier to use in heavy traffic.

× The bike was really amazing and the cost that I paid for the bike was also quite less.

✓ The bike was really amazing, and the price I paid for it was quite low.

Quite less is an incorrect comparative expression in this context. Less normally compares two things, but no comparison is given here. Use quite low to describe the price directly. The phrase price I paid for it is also more natural than cost that I paid for the bike.

× I really enjoyed all the rides that I have taken on it.

✓ I really enjoyed all the rides that I took on it.

The speaker is describing a completed experience in the past, so the simple past took is more appropriate than the present perfect have taken. Keep the verb tense consistent with enjoyed and the past-time context.

× People cannot afford cars easily here which costs around 20 lakhs, 30,00,000 Pakistani rupees.

✓ People cannot easily afford cars here, which cost around 20 lakhs, or 3,000,000 Pakistani rupees.

The relative pronoun which refers to the plural noun cars, so the verb must be the plural form cost, not costs. The adverb easily is placed before afford for a more natural sentence structure.

× So they find bikes as an easy alternative which costs around 1,00,000 to 150 thousand Pakistani rupees.

✓ So they see bikes as an easy alternative, and the bikes cost around 100,000 to 150,000 Pakistani rupees.

The intended subject of cost is the plural noun bikes, so the verb must be cost, not costs. The correction also avoids ambiguity by clearly stating that the bikes, rather than the alternative, have this price range.

× So I think this really admires them and that way to purchase bike.

✓ So I think this really appeals to them and makes bikes an attractive option to purchase.

The original sentence does not use parallel verb structures: admires is followed by the incomplete phrase that way to purchase bike. The correction uses two coordinated verbs, appeals and makes, to create a complete and logical sentence. Use appeals to them when you mean that something attracts or interests people.

× So I think this really admires them and that way to purchase bike.

✓ So I think this really appeals to them and makes buying a bike an attractive option.

The singular countable noun bike needs an article when used in this meaning. However, using the gerund phrase buying a bike makes the sentence more natural and avoids the awkward phrase purchase bike. Remember to use a or the before a singular countable noun when necessary.