自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Your answer is direct and well organized, with a clear reason. However, “impact reasonable injuries” is incorrect; say “cause serious injuries” or “lead to serious injuries.” Also, “found that bikes were risky” is understandable but “thought bikes were dangerous” sounds more natural. Avoid repeating “bike” unnecessarily and use a smoother concluding sentence.

範例: No, I didn’t have a bike as a child because my parents thought cycling was dangerous. They were worried that I might fall and suffer serious injuries, so they decided not to buy me one.

建議: You give a clear opinion and include examples, but the answer contains several unnatural phrases and a sentence fragment. Replace “most especially” with “especially,” and connect “below the age of five” to the previous sentence. Use “ride their bikes around” instead of “drive back around,” and say “use them to commute to school or run errands” rather than “use other commutes.” Adding a specific comparison or reason would make the response more effective.

範例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country, especially among young children. For example, children under five often ride them around parks for fun, while older children may cycle to school or nearby shops. They are popular because cycling is affordable, healthy, and convenient.

× My parents found that bikes were risky and could actually impact reasonable injuries, so they decided not to get me a bike.

✓ My parents thought that bikes were risky and could actually cause serious injuries, so they decided not to get me a bike.

Reasonable does not appropriately describe injuries in this context. Serious is the natural adjective because it describes injuries that are severe. Cause is also more suitable than impact before injuries. To improve, use common adjective-noun combinations such as serious injuries, minor injuries, or severe injuries.

× Below the age of five.

✓ Children under the age of five can ride bikes around for leisure in parks.

The original sentence is a sentence fragment because it contains no subject and no verb. A complete sentence needs at least a subject and a verb. The phrase under the age of five is more natural than below the age of five when referring to people. Make sure every sentence has a clear subject and a finite verb.

× Kids drive back around for leisure in the parks and also use other commutes to go to school or go run errands.

✓ Kids ride bikes around for leisure in parks and also use other forms of transportation to go to school or run errands.

The definite article the is normally used when referring to specific parks already known to the listener. Since the student is speaking about parks in general, no article is needed before parks. In addition, ride bikes is the appropriate verb combination, and other forms of transportation is the grammatically correct noun phrase. When discussing places or activities in general, avoid using the unnecessarily.