自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Answer more directly and avoid repetition, such as “when I was young as a child” and “bike” several times. “Grandfather” is sufficient; “grand grandfather” is incorrect. Also, use more natural expressions: say “my bike was a gift from my grandfather,” “riding it was fun,” and “it became part of my daily routine” instead of “it was a fun factor.” Add one specific detail about where or when you rode it to make the answer more engaging.

範例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. It was a gift from my grandfather, so it was very special to me. I often rode it around my neighborhood after school, and it became one of my favorite parts of my daily routine.

建議: State your main idea clearly, then give one or two organized reasons. The answer repeats “because” and uses unnatural phrases such as “reach out at the destination” and “drive the bike.” Use “reach their destination,” “ride a bike,” and “avoid traffic.” You could also mention a specific group of cyclists or explain that bikes are convenient and economical in crowded cities.

範例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country, especially in busy cities. Many people ride them because they are affordable and help them avoid traffic jams. They are also convenient for short journeys, such as commuting to work or going to nearby shops.

× Uh, actually the bike was gifted by a, by my grand grandfather and eventually the bike became really special to me and I love to ride bikes and it was a fun factor for me in the daily routine.

✓ Actually, my grandfather gave me the bike, and it eventually became really special to me. I loved riding it, and it was a fun part of my daily routine.

The original sentence contains too many ideas joined with and, which makes it a run-on sentence. Separating the ideas into two sentences makes the structure clearer. Since the question asks about childhood, loved riding it and was are appropriate past-tense forms. Use shorter sentences and avoid repeating the same conjunction several times.

× So many people prefer bike rides because of the traffic because it is really easy to reach out at the destination quickly when you are in a hurry to drive the bike because it is a small vehicle.

✓ Many people prefer riding bikes because traffic is heavy, and bikes make it easy to reach their destinations quickly when they are in a hurry.

Reach out at the destination is incorrect in this context. The natural expression is reach their destinations; reach does not require out or at here. Also, riding bikes is more natural than driving bikes. Learn common verb-preposition combinations as complete phrases, such as reach a destination, arrive at a destination, and travel by bike.

× So many people prefer bike rides because of the traffic because it is really easy to reach out at the destination quickly when you are in a hurry to drive the bike because it is a small vehicle.

✓ Many people prefer riding bikes because traffic is heavy, and bikes make it easy to reach their destinations quickly when they are in a hurry.

The original sentence has several because clauses connected one after another, making the relationship between the ideas difficult to follow. It also shifts between people, you, and it without clear organization. Use one main reason and connect the ideas with a suitable conjunction, such as because or and. Avoid putting several long clauses into one sentence.