自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Ответ начинается прямо, но объяснение звучит нелогично: то, что вы девочка, само по себе не объясняет отсутствие велосипеда. Используйте естественное выражение “I preferred other toys” вместо “I cherished another other toys”; слово “cherished” здесь слишком формальное и неестественное. Добавьте конкретную деталь, например, какие игрушки вы предпочитали или почему велосипед вам не был нужен. Также избегайте повторения “when I was a child”.

範例: No, I didn’t have a bike when I was a child because I preferred other toys, such as dolls and board games. Besides, my parents thought cycling in our area was unsafe, so I never became interested in it.

建議: Ответ содержит основную мысль, но в нём много повторов (“I think” и “I think”), а также ошибки: “it depends on the person”, “are more popular”, “rather than”. Лучше дать более точный ответ и объяснить, от чего зависит популярность велосипедов, например от возраста, места проживания или цели использования. Избегайте чрезмерного обобщения о мужчинах и женщинах; можно сказать, что мужчины чаще используют велосипеды для спорта, тогда как женщины могут использовать их для отдыха или поездок.

範例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country, especially among young people and fitness enthusiasts. However, their popularity depends on where people live, since cycling is more convenient in cities with safe bike lanes. Men may use bikes more often for sport, while many women cycle for leisure or transportation.

× No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child because I'm a girl and I cherished another other toys and things.

✓ No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child because I was a girl and I cherished other toys and things.

The question refers to the past, so the verb be should also be in the past tense: I was, not I'm. Keep the tense consistent when describing past experiences.

× No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child because I'm a girl and I cherished another other toys and things.

✓ No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child because I was a girl and I cherished other toys and things.

Another is used with a singular countable noun, while toys is plural. Also, another other is redundant. Use other toys to refer to different toys in general.

× Yes, I think so, but I think it's dependent on people and I think bikes are are more popular for men, raiser than for girls or for women.

✓ Yes, I think so, but it depends on the person. I think bikes are more popular among men than among women.

The original sentence contains a repeated verb, are are, and an incorrect form, raiser. The sentence is also overloaded with repeated uses of I think. Dividing it into two sentences makes the structure clearer. Use more popular ... than to make the comparison correctly.

× Yes, I think so, but I think it's dependent on people and I think bikes are are more popular for men, raiser than for girls or for women.

✓ Yes, I think so, but it depends on the person. I think bikes are more popular among men than among women.

The comparative structure should be more + adjective + than. The word rather cannot replace than in this comparison. Also, among is more natural than for when comparing groups of people.