自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Answer the question directly and correct the likely vocabulary errors: say “bike,” not “wife,” and avoid the unclear phrase “ride A1.” Your answer is too long and contains repeated uses of “because.” Use a clear structure: direct answer, reason, and result. For example, explain that your parents were concerned about safety and state when you eventually learned to ride a bike.

範例: No, I didn’t have a bike when I was a child. My parents were worried that I might fall and hurt myself, so they didn’t allow me to ride one. As a result, I only learned to ride a bike when I was older.

建議: Begin with a clear topic sentence, such as “Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country.” Avoid repetition, fillers such as “uh,” and the unclear phrase “US bikes.” Also, do not make an overly broad claim that middle-class families cannot afford cars; explain more precisely that bicycles are cheaper and convenient for short journeys. Use a linking word such as “especially” or “therefore” to connect your ideas.

範例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country, especially among students and people who live in crowded cities. They are much cheaper than cars and are convenient for short journeys. In addition, many people choose them because they are environmentally friendly and help them avoid traffic.

× No, I didn't have a wife and I was a child because my parents didn't allow me to ride A1 because for safety reasons they were worried I might fall or get hurt so I only learned to ride a bike when I was older.

✓ No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child because my parents didn't allow me to ride one. They were worried that I might fall or get hurt, so I only learned to ride a bike when I was older.

The original sentence has an unclear and incorrectly connected structure. The phrase I didn't have a wife does not fit the question and appears to be a transcription error for I didn't have a bike. The sentence also contains too many because clauses joined together without clear punctuation. Dividing it into two sentences makes the meaning clearer. Use that after worried to introduce a concern, and use so to show the result.

× US bikes are popular in our in our country because there are so many middle class families. So they, uh, are not able to buy a car, so they buy bikes.

✓ Yes, bikes are popular in our country because there are many middle-class families who cannot afford to buy a car, so they buy bikes instead.

The original response contains a repeated phrase, our in our, and an unnecessary sentence break before So. It also uses two so clauses in a way that makes the sentence awkward. Combining the ideas into one sentence creates a clearer cause-and-effect structure. The relative clause who cannot afford to buy a car clearly identifies the families, and instead emphasizes that they choose bikes rather than cars.