自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 답변의 핵심 내용은 처음에 직접적으로 제시되었고, 아버지가 가르쳐 주셨다는 구체적인 세부 내용도 포함되어 있습니다. 그러나 ‘prowess of riding a bike’는 부자연스러우므로 ‘cycling skills’ 또는 ‘ability to ride a bike’로 바꾸는 것이 좋습니다. 또한 ‘write it’은 ‘ride it’의 오타이며, ‘keep my balance’와 ‘keeping my balance’가 반복되어 답변이 다소 중복됩니다. ‘so’나 ‘although’를 사용해 문장을 더 자연스럽게 연결하고, 마지막 문장은 삭제하거나 결과를 추가하면 더 효과적입니다.

範例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child, but I hardly ever rode it. My cycling skills were quite poor, and although my father taught me how to ride, I couldn’t keep my balance. As a result, I eventually lost interest in cycling.

建議: 의견을 제시하려고 했지만 답변이 ‘I think that should be’에서 중단되어 결론이 완성되지 않았습니다. ‘The popularity of bikes aren’t big’은 주어가 단수이므로 ‘The popularity of bikes isn’t high’ 또는 더 자연스럽게 ‘Bikes aren’t very popular’라고 해야 합니다. ‘tough studies’와 ‘excessive education’은 문맥상 다소 부자연스러우므로 ‘heavy academic pressure’와 ‘a demanding education system’을 사용하는 것이 좋습니다. 자전거가 인기 없는 이유를 설명한 뒤, 도시의 교통 상황이나 여가 시간 부족과 같은 구체적인 예를 추가하고 완전한 문장으로 마무리하세요.

範例: No, bikes aren’t particularly popular in my country. This is mainly because students face heavy academic pressure and have very little free time for recreational activities. In addition, many cities are crowded and don’t have enough bike lanes, so people often prefer using public transportation.

× Keeping a balance was a very hard task for me.

✓ Keeping my balance was a very hard task for me.

‘Balance’ refers to the speaker’s physical stability here, so the possessive determiner ‘my’ is more appropriate than the indefinite article ‘a’. The natural expression is ‘keep my balance.’

× The popularity of bikes aren't big in my country.

✓ The popularity of bikes isn't high in my country.

The subject is the singular noun ‘popularity,’ so it must take the singular verb ‘isn’t,’ not ‘aren’t.’ Always identify the main subject before choosing the verb. Also, ‘high’ is the natural adjective used with ‘popularity.’

× The popularity of bikes aren't big in my country.

✓ The popularity of bikes isn't high in my country.

‘Big’ is not the natural adjective for describing popularity. Use ‘high’ or ‘low’ with ‘popularity.’ For example, you can say, ‘Bikes are not very popular in my country.’

× The excessive education is a major and pressing problem in my country.

✓ Excessive education is a major and pressing problem in my country.

When ‘education’ is used in a general sense, it is an uncountable noun and usually does not take ‘the.’ Use ‘the’ only when referring to a specific education system or type of education already identified.

× I think that should be

✓ I think that this problem should be addressed.

The sentence is incomplete because ‘should be’ needs a complement, such as a past participle or an adjective. Completing it with ‘addressed’ creates a clear and grammatically complete sentence. Avoid ending a sentence with an unfinished verb phrase.