自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and avoid repetition; open with a clear topic sentence then add one specific supporting detail. Also correct small grammar issues (e.g., remove duplicate “I”) and prefer past tense consistently when referring to childhood. Keep to no more than 3–4 short sentences.

範例: Yes, I did. I had a small bicycle for a few years when I was around seven, but I stopped using it as I got older because my family moved to a hillier area where cycling was difficult.

建議: Start with a direct opinion, then give two concise, specific reasons linked with appropriate connectors (e.g., 'because', 'however', 'for example'). Avoid filler phrases like 'maybe' twice and tighten sentences to be clearer and more natural.

範例: I think bikes used to be more popular, but nowadays fewer people cycle. For example, children prefer digital entertainment, and busy roads with heavy traffic make parents less willing to let kids ride outside.

× Yes I did. I had a bike briefly as a child but I I do not have much experience with the bike after that.

✓ Yes, I did. I had a bike briefly as a child, but I did not have much experience with bikes after that.

There are multiple issues: repeated word 'I I' is a typing/repetition error and must be removed (Sentence structure error). The tense and aspect need consistency: the speaker refers to past possession and past lack of experience, so use past tense 'did not have' rather than present 'do not have' (Past tense issue but listed here as sentence structure error because multiple fixes are combined). Also use 'bikes' (general) rather than 'the bike' to indicate experience with bicycles in general. Add commas after 'Yes' and before 'but' to improve sentence flow. Suggestion: remove duplicate words, keep past tense consistent for past events, and use plural for general reference.

× Yes, they I think they were popular in my country in earlier times, but I see less and less people now on bikes, especially children.

✓ Yes, I think bikes were popular in my country in earlier times, but I see fewer and fewer people on bikes now, especially children.

Original has extra word 'they' and an awkward subject placement. Use correct subject and verb order: 'I think bikes were popular' or 'I think they were popular'; choose one. 'Less and less people' is incorrect when referring to a countable noun; use 'fewer and fewer people' (Incorrect use of quantifiers/Present tense issue). Also move 'now' after 'people on bikes' or keep 'on bikes now' for clarity. Suggestion: remove the duplicate pronoun, use 'fewer' for countable nouns, and place 'now' where it reads naturally.

× Maybe because of the advent of technology or maybe because the roads have become so much busier now there's so much more traffic that I really don't see anyone on bicycles anymore.

✓ Maybe because of the advent of technology, or because the roads have become so much busier and there is so much more traffic, I really don't see anyone on bicycles anymore.

The original is a run-on sentence lacking clear subordinating structure and punctuation (Sentence structure error). It contains a comma splice and missing conjunctions. Also 'there's so much more traffic that I really don't see anyone' is awkwardly attached; better to coordinate clauses: 'roads have become so much busier and there is so much more traffic' or use 'so...that' structure properly. Suggestion: add commas, coordinate clauses, and make the causal relationship clear. Note 'there is' is acceptable for uncountable 'traffic'.