自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 문장이 자연스럽고 이해는 되지만 몇 가지 개선할 점이 있습니다. 첫째, 주제문으로 바로 답을 제시한 것은 좋습니다. 다만 접속사와 구문 사용이 어색해 흐름이 매끄럽지 않습니다(예: however + so의 중복). 둘째, 세부 내용은 있지만 구체성이 부족합니다 — 언제, 누구에게 받았는지, 어떻게 배웠는지 같은 구체적 정보가 있으면 좋습니다. 셋째, 문장 수를 2-3문장으로 간결하게 유지하고 연결어(for example, because, although 등)를 자연스럽게 사용하세요. 개선 포인트: 1) 'however'와 'so' 중 하나만 사용하거나 문장을 나누기, 2) 구체적 세부정보 추가(예: age, who gave it, any memorable incident), 3) 어휘 다양화(beautiful → bright/cheerful/charming).

範例: Yes, I did. I had a bright yellow bike that my parents bought me when I was eight. Although it looked pretty, it was actually too big for me, so I often struggled to keep my balance when I rode it.

建議: 응답의 시작은 괜찮지만 문장이 중간에서 끊겨 불완전합니다. 또한 반복된 단어('quite quite')는 피해야 합니다. 개선점은 명확한 주제문 뒤에 구체적 이유와 예시를 덧붙이는 것입니다. 연결어(because, for example, therefore)를 사용해 논리적인 흐름을 만들고, 가능한 통계나 구체적 상황(학생들이 통학에 사용한다는 점, 자전거 도로가 늘어나고 있다 등)을 추가하세요. 문장은 2-3문장으로 간결하게 유지하세요.

範例: Yes, I think bicycles are quite popular in my country because many students use them to commute to school. For example, it's common to see students cycling along dedicated bike lanes in the mornings, and bicycle shops are busy, especially near universities.

× I had a yellow bike.

✓ I had a yellow bike.

This sentence is correct. 'Had' correctly uses the past tense to describe possession in childhood, so no change is needed.

× The bike was very pretty, however it was so big so I found it difficult to ride.

✓ The bike was very pretty; however, it was so big that I found it difficult to ride.

The original sentence has run-on structure and redundant conjunctions ('however' and 'so') causing awkward flow. Use a semicolon or period before 'however' and replace the second 'so' with 'that' to introduce the result clause. Suggestion: connect independent clauses properly and use 'so...that' for cause-result: 'it was so big that I found it difficult to ride.'

× In my country bikes are quite quite popular because often students ride a bike during

✓ In my country, bikes are quite popular because students often ride them to school.

Problems: repetition 'quite quite', awkward word order, and missing object/completion at the end. Use present simple 'are' for general truth (correct) but place adverb 'often' before the verb 'ride' or after the subject; use a plural pronoun 'them' to refer back to 'bikes', and finish the clause with 'to school' or similar. Also add a comma after introductory phrase for clarity.