自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Improve clarity, grammar and coherence. Start with a clear topic sentence stating whether you had a bike, then give 1–2 specific supporting details (who gave it, how you felt, what you did with it). Use correct tense (past) and simple linking words (because, so, and). Keep to no more than 3–4 short sentences.

範例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. My grandfather bought it for me as a birthday present, and I felt very excited. Because it was sturdy, I often rode it around my neighborhood with my friends. Those rides were one of my favorite childhood memories.

建議: Organize your answer: give a clear opinion, then provide 1–2 specific reasons and an example. Use correct vocabulary (e.g., "popular," "private vehicles," "public transportation") and watch word choice and sentence accuracy. Use linking words like "because" and "however" to connect ideas. Keep sentences short and direct.

範例: Not very popular. I live in Bangkok, and most people prefer motorcycles and cars because they are faster for city traffic. In addition, the city has good public transportation like buses and the BTS, so many people choose that instead of bikes. However, bicycles are becoming more common among fitness enthusiasts and students.

× Yes I do I have a foot by from my grandfather purchased it.

✓ Yes, I had a bicycle that my grandfather purchased for me.

The original sentence mixes tenses and word forms incorrectly. The question asks about having a bike when the student was a child (past), so use past tense 'had' not present 'do I have'. 'Foot by' is likely a misformed 'bicycle' and 'from my grandfather purchased it' incorrectly orders the clause; use a relative clause 'that my grandfather purchased for me' with the past participle 'purchased' in a correct clause. Also add commas and correct word choice for clarity. Suggestions: use past tense for past situations, place 'purchased' after the relative pronoun and include the preposition 'for' to show the recipient.

× Moreover it is excited and happy for me when a healthy time I often to buy allowed in my homes.

✓ Moreover, I felt excited and happy when I was healthy; I often rode it around my neighborhood.

The original contains several errors: 'it is excited and happy for me' misattributes emotions to the bicycle; the speaker should say 'I felt excited and happy'. 'When a healthy time' is ungrammatical; use 'when I was healthy' or 'during healthy times'. 'I often to buy allowed in my homes' is incoherent; likely intended 'I often rode it around my home' or 'in my neighborhood'. Also maintain past tense to match the context. Suggestions: keep subject consistent for emotions, use correct past tense verbs ('felt', 'rode'), and use clear location expressions ('around my neighborhood').

× Not really. Nowadays I live in Bangkok. It is the uh, quiet congregations.

✓ Not really. Nowadays I live in Bangkok; it is relatively quiet in some neighborhoods.

'It is the uh, quiet congregations' is ungrammatical: 'congregations' refers to groups of people, not neighborhoods, and the article 'the' and filler 'uh' are inappropriate. Use 'relatively quiet' and specify 'in some neighborhoods' to make sense. Also keep present tense for current living situation. Suggestions: choose correct nouns for places ('neighborhoods' instead of 'congregations'), avoid filler words in formal replies, and use appropriate articles ('the' only when referring to a specific noun).

× Moreover, many people use the pirates vertical and public transportation.

✓ Moreover, many people use private vehicles and public transportation.

The phrase 'pirates vertical' appears to be a misspelling or mishearing of 'private vehicles' or 'private cars'. Replace with 'private vehicles' to contrast with 'public transportation'. Keep verb agreement and word order simple. Suggestions: check spelling and choose appropriate collocations ('private vehicles', 'public transportation').

× It is convenient and safe to dangerous as well.

✓ It is convenient and safe, and also less dangerous.

The original mixes contradictory adjectives and incorrect structure: 'safe to dangerous' is nonsensical. Likely intended to say that public transportation is convenient and safe, and less dangerous than alternatives. Use conjunctions to link ideas and comparative phrasing ('less dangerous'). Suggestions: use clear comparatives and conjunctions to connect contrasting or additional points.