自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Make your answer more natural and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two brief supporting details. Correct word choice and verb forms (e.g., “excited” instead of “charged”), use articles, and place adjectives before nouns. Keep it under five sentences.

範例: Yes, I did. I was very excited when my father bought me a yellow bike when I was about seven. I rode it every day after school around my street and learned to balance without training wheels within a few weeks.

建議: Provide a direct topic sentence, then give specific supporting details with correct grammar and linking words. Improve word choice (e.g., “popular,” “healthy exercise,” “ride”), correct tense and plural forms, and avoid vague phrases like “ring around.” Use one linking word to connect ideas (e.g., “because,” “so,” “for example”).

範例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because they are an affordable and healthy way to travel. For example, many people ride bikes in the afternoons and evenings to exercise or commute, and you can often see groups cycling around neighbourhood parks.

× Yes I did and I was so charged my father bought a bike which is yellow.

✓ Yes, I did, and I was so excited when my father bought a yellow bike for me.

The original uses 'charged' incorrectly; 'charged' is not the right adjective for feeling happy. Also sentence structure and tense clarity need fixing: use past tense 'was' with adjective 'excited' and introduce a clause 'when my father bought' to show time. Move 'yellow' before 'bike' and add 'for me' to clarify possession. Suggestion: replace 'charged' with 'excited' or 'thrilled' and rephrase the clause for clarity.

× In my country it is very popular riding bikes because it's one of the healthy exercise riding it.

✓ In my country, riding bikes is very popular because it is a healthy form of exercise.

The sentence has awkward word order and incorrect collocations: 'it is very popular riding bikes' should be 'riding bikes is very popular' to use the gerund phrase as the subject. 'One of the healthy exercise' is ungrammatical; use 'a healthy form of exercise.' Remove the redundant 'riding it.' Suggestion: use 'riding bikes is very popular' and 'a healthy form of exercise.'

× So in the afternoon, they always ring around the neighborhood.

✓ So in the afternoon, they always ride around the neighborhood.

The verb 'ring' is incorrect in this context; the intended meaning is people ride bicycles around the neighborhood. Use the verb 'ride' to match the activity. 'Ring' is not used to describe moving around an area. Also ensure subject 'they' correctly refers to people who ride bikes. Suggestion: replace 'ring' with 'ride.'