自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence that answers the question, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid fillers (uh, um), redundant phrases, and grammatical errors (e.g., "get a permission" → "get permission"). Use linking words to connect ideas (e.g., "however", "finally").

範例: Yes. I didn't have a bike at first because my parents refused to buy one, however they finally bought me a bike when I was 12. I remember practicing every afternoon in our neighborhood until I became confident riding on busy streets.

建議: Answer directly, then give specific reasons and, if possible, compare or give an example. Avoid repeating the same idea. Use linking words like "because", "for example", or "compared to" to make your response coherent.

範例: Not really. I don't see many people cycling in my city because public transport and motorcycles are more common. For example, on my commute I usually see buses and scooters but rarely bicycles, so cycling does not seem very popular here.

× So now I don't have any bikes.

✓ So now I don't have a bike.

The original uses plural 'bikes' which is unnatural when referring to 'any' with a singular possession; this is a singular and article/number issue. Use singular 'a bike' to indicate a single item not owned.

× When I was at my young age, uh, I tried a lot to convince and get a permission from my parents to buy me a new bike by but uh, they always declined and but finally, uh, when I was, uh, 12 years old, they bought 1.

✓ When I was young, I tried hard to convince my parents to give me permission to buy a new bike, but they always refused; finally, when I was 12 years old, they bought one for me.

Multiple issues: awkward phrase 'at my young age' should be 'when I was young' (sentence structure), 'tried a lot' is better as 'tried hard' (word choice), 'to convince and get a permission from my parents to buy me a new bike' is incorrect structure and article use — correct is 'convince my parents to give me permission to buy a new bike' (incorrect use of prepositions/articles and sentence structure), 'declined and but' is redundant conjunctions — use a single conjunction 'but', and 'bought 1' should be written as 'bought one for me' (number word and indirect object). To improve: simplify clauses, use correct verb patterns (convince someone to do something; give permission), and avoid redundant fillers.

× No, I don't think so that the bikes are very popular in my country uh, because I haven't seen a lot of people using bikes in my own homeland.

✓ No, I don't think bikes are very popular in my country because I haven't seen many people using them in my homeland.

The phrase 'I don't think so that the bikes are very popular' is ungrammatical; use 'I don't think bikes are very popular' (sentence structure). 'A lot of people' is acceptable but 'many people' is more natural here; 'using bikes' can be more concise as 'using them'. Also 'my own homeland' is redundant — 'my homeland' suffices. The tense usage ('haven't seen') is correct for present perfect to express experience up to now.

× So I doubt that uh, the bikes are very popular in my country.

✓ So I doubt that bikes are very popular in my country.

This sentence repeats the same idea expressed earlier. Remove fillers 'uh' and the definite article 'the' before 'bikes' to make it natural. Use 'I doubt that bikes are very popular in my country.' to clearly state the opinion. Avoid repeating the same sentence twice; combine or eliminate redundancy.