自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 문장이 반복되고 비문이 있어 의미 전달이 불분명합니다. 먼저 주제 문장으로 직접 답한 뒤, 이유를 간결하게 덧붙이세요. 불필요한 채움말(예: "I mean", "uh")을 줄이고 시제 및 문법(예: "too afraid to ride")을 정확히 사용하십시오. 또한 중복 표현("couldn't make it, so I couldn't have my own")을 피하고 대신 한두 개의 구체적 이유나 짧은 예시를 사용해 답변을 명확히 하세요.

範例: No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child. I tried learning to ride a four-wheeled training bike, but I was too scared to balance on a real bicycle. Because of that fear, my parents never bought me my own bike.

建議: 답의 구조는 괜찮지만 문법과 연결어 사용에서 개선이 필요합니다. 먼저 주제문으로 간단히 의견을 말한 뒤, 이유를 1–2개로 명확히 제시하세요. 접속사(overuse of "because" and "but")를 정리하고 단수/복수 및 관사 사용(예: "a public bicycle renting system" → "public bike-sharing systems")을 교정하세요. 구체적 예시(아파트 구조, 보관 문제, 대중교통과의 비교)를 추가하면 설득력이 높아집니다.

範例: I don't think bicycles are a common mode of transport in Korea. Although there are public bike-sharing systems in many cities, most people live in apartment buildings with limited storage, so owning a personal bike is inconvenient. As a result, many people prefer buses or subways for daily commuting.

× No, I didn't have a bike when I was young because I mean, actually I'd try to ride a bike with the bike, which is UH-4 wheels, but I, I was too afraid to riding a bike, so I couldn't make it, so I couldn't have my own.

✓ No, I didn't have a bike when I was young because, actually, I tried to ride a bike with training wheels, but I was too afraid to ride a bike, so I couldn't do it and couldn't have my own.

문장에는 중복된 동사 형태와 잘못된 동명사 사용이 있습니다. 'I'd try to'는 과거 회상에서는 'I tried to'로 바꿔야 자연스럽고 시제에 맞습니다. 또한 'afraid to riding'은 올바른 구조가 아니며 'afraid to ride' 또는 'afraid of riding' 중 하나를 사용해야 합니다. 제안: 과거 상황을 설명할 때는 단순 과거 'tried'와 'was afraid to ride' 구조를 사용하세요. 'training wheels'로 표현을 명확히 하고 중복 표현('ride a bike with the bike')은 제거하세요.

× I don't think it is a popular transportation in Korea because even though there are so many public bicycle renting system, but still so many people are living in apartment and it is the place where it's hard to put our own bicycle because there's no place.

✓ I don't think it is a popular form of transportation in Korea, because even though there are many public bicycle-rental systems, many people live in apartments and it is hard to store a bicycle there due to lack of space.

'so many public bicycle renting system'에는 수량 표현과 가산 복수형이 맞지 않습니다. 올바른 표현은 'many public bicycle-rental systems' 또는 'a public bicycle-rental system'입니다. 또한 'living in apartment'는 관사와 복수화가 필요해 'live in apartments'로 고쳐야 합니다. 'it's the place where it's hard to put our own bicycle'는 어색하므로 'it is hard to store a bicycle there'로 간결히 표현하세요. 제안: 가산 명사의 복수형과 적절한 수량 형용사(many, a lot of)를 일치시키고, 불필요한 중복 접속사('because even though... but')를 제거하세요.