自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and clear. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Reduce filler words like “umm” and correct small grammar mistakes (e.g., say “because I got a perfect score in creative writing” or the correct subject/verb forms). Use linking words such as “because” or “so” to connect ideas.

範例: Yes. I had a lovely bike when I was a child. My mother bought it for me when I was in grade five because I got a perfect score in my creative writing class, so she rewarded me with that bike.

建議: Give a clear opinion first, then support it with two specific reasons. Use correct grammar for number and tense (e.g., “I think bikes are popular” not “I thinks”), and replace vague phrases with precise expressions (e.g., “more affordable than motorcycles”). Use linking words such as “because” and “for example.”

範例: Yes, I think bikes are very popular in my country because they are affordable and many families buy them for their children. For example, a bicycle costs much less than a motorcycle, so parents often choose bikes for young kids.

× Yes, I used to have a beautiful bike when I was a child. My mom bought it when I was in grade 5 umm, for my reward of umm, the score that I just got umm perfectly in creating fine and it's so beautiful.

✓ Yes, I used to have a beautiful bike when I was a child. My mom bought it when I was in grade 5 as a reward for the high score I had achieved; it was very beautiful.

The student mixed past simple and present perfect incorrectly and used informal fillers. Use past tense consistently for past events: 'bought' and 'had achieved' (or 'earned') both refer to past completed actions. Replace vague phrases ('for my reward of the score that I just got perfectly in creating fine') with a clear phrase: 'as a reward for the high score I had achieved.' Remove fillers and combine into clearer sentences to improve fluency. (English (Cambodia))

× In my personal I thinks bikes are popular in my country because uh, every family have to buy the bike for their children and the bike is like umm, like we can afford it in every people that can afford to buy it more than umm buying a motor.

✓ In my opinion, I think bikes are popular in my country because many families buy bikes for their children, and bikes are more affordable for most people than motorcycles.

Multiple present tense and agreement errors: 'In my personal' should be 'In my opinion'; 'I thinks' should be 'I think' (subject-verb agreement); 'every family have to buy the bike' should be 'many families buy bikes' (plural agreement and clearer meaning); 'the bike is like ... we can afford it in every people that can afford to buy it more than buying a motor' is ungrammatical and unclear. Rephrase to 'bikes are more affordable for most people than motorcycles' to express the intended comparison and correct noun forms. (English (Cambodia))