自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 문법과 어휘 선택, 문장의 논리적 연결을 개선해야 합니다. 우선 'bike cook'와 같은 오타/잘못된 단어를 고쳐야 하고, 장소·기간 표현을 자연스럽게 바꿔야 합니다. 또한 주제문(있었는지에 대한 직접답) 뒤에 구체적인 세부정보(언제, 어떤 종류, 왜 기억에 남는지)를 연결어(so, because, and then 등)를 사용해 2~3문장으로 자연스럽게 덧붙이세요. 예: 과거 시제 일관성 유지, compact 대신 smaller/compact-sized 사용, 'took there'는 의미 불명이므로 'kept it for a long time' 또는 'used it for many years'로 교체하세요.

範例: Yes, I did. I had a small, compact bike when I was in middle school because it fit me well. I used it for many years to go to school and ride around my neighborhood, so I have many good memories of it.

建議: 문장 구조와 어휘 선택, 논리적 연결을 다듬어야 합니다. 'take bikes' 대신 'ride bikes' 또는 'use bicycles' 를 사용하고, 비교 표현은 'more convenient than cars'처럼 정확한 형태로 고치세요. 또한 이유를 구체적으로 제시하고 연결어(For example, because, so 등)를 사용해 2~3문장으로 확장하세요. 가능한 한 불필요한 반복을 피하고 명확한 예시(통근, 운동, 환경 문제)를 추가하세요.

範例: Yes, I think bicycles are very popular. Many people ride bikes because they are cheaper and more convenient than cars for short trips. For example, people often cycle to work or to the market to avoid traffic and save money.

× Yes, I had a bike cook when I was a middle school student.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a middle school student.

The word 'cook' is extraneous and not a verb related to having a bike; remove it. Use past tense 'had' correctly. Suggestion: proofread for accidental extra words and keep only relevant words (e.g., 'I had a bike').

× It was a compact size for me and I took there for a long time.

✓ It was compact for me and I used it for a long time.

'A compact size' is awkward; 'compact' as an adjective directly modifies the noun: 'It was compact for me.' 'I took there' is incorrect verb and preposition use; use 'used it' to mean rode or owned, and 'for a long time' is correct time phrase. Suggestion: use appropriate verbs for actions with objects (use 'used it' or 'rode it') and place adjectives directly before nouns or use predicate adjectives after 'be'.

× Yes, definitely there are many people who take bikes because it is much more convenient for other than transportation such as cars or some ways I think.

✓ Yes, definitely there are many people who ride bikes because it is much more convenient than other forms of transportation, such as cars, I think.

Use 'ride bikes' or 'use bikes' rather than 'take bikes.' Compare correctly: 'more convenient than other forms of transportation' not 'for other than transportation.' Also clarify 'such as cars' and place 'I think' at end. Suggestion: use correct verbs with 'bike' (ride/use), use 'more convenient than' for comparisons, and reorganize phrase order for clarity.