自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and direct, use a clear topic sentence, and add one specific supporting detail with a linking word. Avoid repetition (e.g., 'her dad, her father'). Keep to 2–3 sentences and use a wider range of vocabulary (e.g., 'envied' or 'longed for').

範例: No, I didn’t have a bike when I was a child, and I often envied a friend who did because her father bought her one. As a result, I spent more time watching other children ride and wished I could join them on weekend outings.

建議: Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons using linking words. Correct small grammar issues and avoid vague phrases like 'either a child or another.' Mention concrete locations or statistics to strengthen the answer.

範例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because many families own at least one bicycle and people use them for short trips. For example, you can see cyclists on urban roads and around shopping centers, especially during weekends when traffic is heavy.

× When I was a child, I never used to have a bike, but I really wish I had one because a friend of mine got her bike.

✓ When I was a child, I never used to have a bike, but I really wished I had one because a friend of mine got a bike.

The sentence mixes present-tense 'wish I had' with a past context introduced by 'When I was a child'. Use past form 'wished' to match the past timeframe. Also 'got her bike' is awkward; use 'got a bike' or 'was given a bike'. Suggestion: keep verb tenses consistent by using past forms when describing past desires and use clear phrasing for acquisition ('got a bike' or 'her father bought her a bike').

× Her dad, her father just bought her and that's something that I really admired of her.

✓ Her dad, her father, had just bought her a bike, and that was something I really admired about her.

Pronoun and structure are incorrect: 'bought her' needs an object (a bike). The original mixes present and past tenses; use past perfect or simple past ('had just bought' or 'had bought'/'bought') to indicate completed action in the past. 'Admired of her' is incorrect prepositional use; use 'admired about her' or simply 'admired her'. Also remove redundant pronoun repetition ('Her dad, her father').

× I would say bikes are very popular in our country because in almost all households you find a bike that belongs to either a child or another.

✓ I would say bikes are very popular in our country because in almost every household you can find a bike that belongs to either a child or an adult.

'Almost all households' is acceptable but 'either a child or another' is incorrect: 'either...or' needs parallel elements; 'another' is vague. Use 'either a child or an adult' for clear contrast. Also 'in almost every household you can find' is more natural. This fixes noun reference and parallelism issues.

× If you go on the roads you find people or you get to see people riding bicycles, you go to shopping centers.

✓ If you go on the roads you see people riding bicycles, and you also see them near shopping centers.

The original sentence is run-on and repetitive ('you find people or you get to see people'). Simplify and coordinate ideas with 'and'. Use parallel verb forms ('see people riding' and 'see them near') for clarity and fluency.