自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, reduce hesitations, correct small grammar mistakes (say “when I was six” not “6 year old”), and add one specific supporting detail about why it inspired you. Use linking words (e.g., “because” or “so”) to connect ideas.

範例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. My grandfather gave it to me when I was six, and I loved it because it let me explore my neighborhood freely.

建議: Give a direct opinion first, reduce filler words, correct grammar (e.g., “we are beginning to use them more often”), and add a specific example or reason such as environmental concerns or recent infrastructure projects. Use a linking word like “however” or “but” to contrast present popularity with growing use.

範例: I don’t think bicycles are very popular yet in my country, but we are starting to use them more often because of rising environmental awareness and new bike lanes the government is building.

× Uh, he brought me this, uh, bicycle, uh, when I was 6 year old.

✓ Uh, he brought me this bicycle when I was 6 years old.

The sentence uses past tense correctly for 'brought', but the age expression is incorrect. Use 'years' plural with a number greater than one and omit extra fillers and commas. Suggestion: say 'when I was 6 years old' or 'when I was six.'

× Uh, I don't think that, uh, bikes, uh, are really popular now, but uh, we be, uh, become to use it, uh, more often.

✓ Uh, I don't think bikes are really popular now, but we are starting to use them more often.

Multiple issues: 'we be, become to use it' is ungrammatical. To express a present change in habit use 'are starting to' or 'have started to' and use plural pronoun and object agreement ('them' for bikes). This fits present progressive/continuous change. Remove filler sounds for clarity.

× And now our government supports, uh, developing, uh, bicycle roads.

✓ And now our government supports developing bicycle lanes.

'Supports developing' is acceptable but 'bicycle roads' is odd; use 'bicycle lanes' or 'cycle paths'. Also 'supports developing' commonly takes a gerund without extra commas. For clarity and naturalness: 'supports the development of bicycle lanes' or 'supports developing bicycle lanes.'

× It was my gift from my dear grandfather.

✓ It was a gift from my dear grandfather.

'My gift' suggests ownership but 'a gift from my grandfather' is more natural. This corrects article and phrasing; though not strictly plurality, it's an article/word choice fix to make sentence natural and grammatically correct.

× And I was really inspired by that.

✓ I was really inspired by it.

Referring back to 'a bicycle' use pronoun 'it' rather than 'that' for tighter reference. This is a style and pronoun choice improvement; keep past tense 'was inspired.'