自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Reduce hesitations and grammatical errors, use a clear topic sentence then one or two supporting details. Correct tense and verb forms (e.g., 'rode' not 'wrote'), use singular/plural and article forms correctly, and avoid filler words like 'umm.' Add one specific detail (where you rode, who taught you) and connect ideas with a linking word.

範例: Yes, I did. I had a bright yellow bicycle that my parents bought for me when I was seven. I often rode it around the park after school, and it made me feel excited and free because I could explore on my own.

建議: Make your opening direct, fix grammar and word choice (e.g., 'many people ride' not 'many people's right'). Use linking words to structure your points (for example, 'Firstly' or 'In particular') and give one specific example with clear numbers. Avoid filler words and keep it to 2–3 concise sentences.

範例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country. In particular, shared bikes are common because they are convenient and cheap; for example, you can use one for about 50 minutes for only CN¥1, which makes them affordable for daily short trips.

× it was a, it was a bicycle and with a very vivid colour.

✓ It was a bicycle with a very vivid colour.

The original has redundant fragments ('it was a, it was a') creating awkward structure rather than a past participle error; however this fits 'Verb in the past participle form' only in that 'was' (past of be) is repeated unnecessarily. Corrected sentence removes the repetition to create a single, grammatical clause. Suggestion: avoid repeating the verb 'was' and combine descriptors directly after the noun.

× It's uh, a yellow 1 and when I wrote it in the road it just make me feel excited and give me freedom.

✓ It was yellow, and when I rode it on the road it just made me feel excited and gave me freedom.

Errors: 'It's uh, a yellow 1' uses contraction 'It's' (it is) which mismatches the past context; '1' is incorrect numeral; 'wrote' is wrong verb (should be 'rode'); 'in the road' uses wrong preposition; 'make' and 'give' are present tense while context is past. This involves singular/plural and tense issues. Correction: use past tense verbs 'was', 'rode', 'made', 'gave' and preposition 'on the road'. Suggestion: maintain consistent past tense for past events and choose correct verbs ('ride' -> 'rode') and prepositions ('on the road').

× Well, I think so you can see the many people's right, like bikes in the street and especially for those shared bikes because it's just so convenient and cheap.

✓ Well, I think so; you can see many people riding bikes in the street, especially shared bikes, because they are so convenient and cheap.

Problems: 'the many people's right' is ungrammatical — incorrect quantifier and noun form; 'people's' possessive is wrong; 'like bikes' is vague; 'it's' refers to 'shared bikes' (plural), so should be 'they are'. Correction uses 'many people riding bikes' and matches plural agreement with 'they are'. Suggestion: use 'many people' (no 'the'), use gerund 'riding' to describe action, and ensure pronoun agrees in number with its antecedent.

× You can write about, uh, 50 minutes just for CN¥1, so it's really affordable.

✓ You can ride for about 50 minutes for just CN¥1, so it's really affordable.

Errors: 'write about' is a wrong verb choice (should be 'ride'); word order 'just for CN¥1' is acceptable but 'for about 50 minutes for just CN¥1' is clearer; 'it's' refers to the service (singular) or the cost—keeping 'it's' is acceptable, but after changing to 'they' earlier consistency may require 'so it's really affordable' referring to the service. Suggestion: choose correct verb 'ride', place time expression 'for about 50 minutes' correctly, and keep present simple 'can' for general fact.