自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and correct grammar; start with a clear topic sentence, add one or two specific supporting details (when/how you used it, what happened), and avoid repetition. Use linking words (e.g., however, unfortunately). Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

範例: Yes. My mother bought me a bright red bike when I was about eight, and I used it to ride to school and play with friends every day. Unfortunately, after a year it went missing when I left it outside, which was really disappointing because I loved that bike.

建議: Give a clear direct answer, correct word choice and grammar (e.g., 'young people' not 'youngers'), and organize supporting details with linking words (for example, 'For instance' or 'In particular'). Be specific about examples and keep it within 3–4 sentences.

範例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country. For instance, many young people use bicycles and shared bike services are common in major cities like Shanghai. As a result, you can often see bikes parked on street corners and used for short commutes.

× When I was young, my mom bought a bike for me and I really love that one.

✓ When I was young, my mom bought a bike for me and I really loved that one.

The sentence mixes past context ('When I was young', 'bought') with a present-tense verb 'love'. Use past tense 'loved' to maintain consistent past narration. Suggestion: Keep verbs in the same time frame when describing past events (e.g., 'bought' and 'loved').

× But it finally was lost.

✓ But it was eventually lost.

The passive verb 'was lost' is past tense and correct, but word order and word choice are awkward: 'finally was lost' is unnatural. Use 'was eventually lost' or 'it was finally lost' more naturally. Suggestion: Use 'eventually' or place 'finally' after the auxiliary verb for natural flow (e.g., 'it was finally lost' or 'it was eventually lost').

× That was that was a pity.

✓ That was a pity.

The sentence repeats the phrase twice, creating a redundancy and poor sentence structure. Remove the duplicate to make the sentence grammatical and concise. Suggestion: Avoid repeating the same clause; use a single clear statement ('That was a pity.').

× Spikes are really popular among youngers in China.

✓ Bicycles are really popular among young people in China.

'Spikes' is likely an incorrect word choice; context requires 'bikes' or 'bicycles'. 'Youngers' is not a correct plural noun; use 'young people' or 'youngsters'. This is a noun choice and plural formation error. Suggestion: Use precise nouns and correct plural forms: 'bicycles' and 'young people' or 'youngsters'.

× You know, bikes are almost ubiquitous all around the corners of a city, especially if it's a first class city like Shanghai.

✓ You know, bikes are almost ubiquitous on the streets and around the corners of a city, especially in a first-class city like Shanghai.

Preposition use is incorrect: 'all around the corners' is awkward; use 'around the corners' or 'on the streets' and 'in a first-class city' is correct for location. Also add a hyphen in 'first-class' as a compound adjective. Suggestion: Use 'in' for cities and 'on' or 'around' for streets/corners; hyphenate compound adjectives before nouns ('first-class city').

× You can see some shared bicycles everywhere.

✓ You can see shared bicycles everywhere.

The word 'some' is unnecessary here and weakens the sentence; 'shared bicycles everywhere' is more natural and concise. Suggestion: Omit unnecessary quantifiers like 'some' when stating general ubiquity ('You can see shared bicycles everywhere.').