自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Improve clarity and coherence: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid contradictions, use correct tense and concise explanations. Reduce filler words (um, like, yeah). Use linking words (because, so, but) correctly and give one or two specific supporting details (when/where you rode it, why it broke, what you did afterwards).

範例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. I rode it mainly in the summer to visit my friends and go to the park. Over time the tires became worn because I used it frequently only in summer, and I stopped repairing it, so now it is broken and I no longer ride it.

建議: Make the answer more natural and precise: give a clear topic sentence, support it with specific facts and use accurate vocabulary (rent, rental kiosks, affordable). Avoid vague phrases and fillers. Use linking words (for example, because, therefore) and correct small errors (e.g., “play it” → “use it”).

範例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country. For example, during the summer many parks and beach promenades offer rental bikes at kiosks for around 30–40 dirhams, usually by the minute, which makes cycling accessible for short rides. Because these rental services are widespread and affordable, many people choose bikes for leisure and short trips.

× Yes, I had a bike when I was a child and I still haven't, but it's kind of like it's broken.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child and I still have it, but it's kind of broken.

Student mixed past possession with a contraction 'haven't' incorrectly; 'had' indicates past possession and 'still have it' expresses ongoing possession. Use 'still have it' to show they still possess the bike. Also simplify 'kind of like it's broken' to 'kind of broken' for natural phrasing.

× It's not working of the tires because it became weak because I only use it in the summertime.

✓ It's not working because the tires became weak since I only used it in the summertime.

The phrase 'working of the tires' is incorrect; use 'not working because the tires became weak.' Use 'since' or 'because' for reason. Also keep tense consistent: 'became' matches past cause, and 'used' indicates habitual past action.

× When I was younger, I used to go outside and use my bike and use like a lot often, but now I just stopped because of the summer heat and everything.

✓ When I was younger, I used to go outside and use my bike a lot, but now I have stopped because of the summer heat and other reasons.

'Use like a lot often' is ungrammatical; correct phrase is 'use my bike a lot.' Replace 'now I just stopped' with 'now I have stopped' to indicate a change from past habit to present state. 'Because of the summer heat and everything' is informal; 'and other reasons' is clearer.

× Uh, yes, it is.

✓ Uh, yes, they are.

The question asks 'Do you think bikes are popular...' which expects a plural subject 'bikes.' Answering with 'it is' treats 'bikes' as singular; use 'they are' or 'yes, they are' to agree with plural subject.

× Uh, my, the bikes over here are popular in my country because when it's like Midsummer, they put out bikes in umm, the parks and in the beach side.

✓ The bikes here are popular in my country because in midsummer they put bikes out in the parks and at the beach.

Remove awkward 'my, the' and use 'the bikes here.' Use 'in midsummer' not 'like Midsummer.' Use preposition 'at the beach' rather than 'in the beach side.' Keep pronouns and articles consistent.

× There are a lot of umm, bikes that you can rent for like 30 dirhams or 40 dirhams and you can play it for like you can use it for 10 minutes or 13 minutes.

✓ There are many bikes you can rent for 30 or 40 dirhams, and you can use them for 10 or 15 minutes.

Use 'many' or 'a lot of' consistently; 'play it' is wrong when referring to renting bikes—use 'use them.' Also use plural pronoun 'them' for bikes. Quantities should be realistic and consistent; '10 or 13 minutes' is awkward—use '10 or 15 minutes' or '10 to 15 minutes.' Remove filler 'like'.

× So yeah, they're like publicity is too much.

✓ So yeah, the publicity is too much.

The original mixes 'they're like' with 'publicity is too much' producing an unclear sentence. Use 'the publicity is too much' to state that there is excessive advertising or promotion.