自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be concise, use correct tense and clearer organization. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one or two specific details using linking words. Avoid fillers and repetitive phrases, and correct grammar mistakes (e.g., use past simple: 'I had', 'my father gave me').

範例: I had a bicycle when I was a child. My father gave it to me for my seventh birthday, and I rode it for about five to seven years before I stopped. Because it was a gift, I remember being very excited and practicing every afternoon until I became confident.

建議: Give a clear topic sentence, then support with specific reasons and an example. Use linking words (because, for example, therefore) and correct singular/plural and article usage ('in my country', 'many people'). Avoid vague fillers and repeat the main point succinctly.

範例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because they are affordable and fuel-efficient. For example, many families buy models like the CD 70 since they are cheap to maintain, so people often choose bikes instead of cars for daily travel.

× Yes, when I was a child I have a cycle and you can call bike.

✓ Yes, when I was a child I had a cycle, which you can call a bike.

The sentence describes a past state, so the correct verb is the past tense 'had' rather than the present 'have'. Use 'which' or 'that' to clarify the noun, and include the article 'a' before 'bike'. Suggestion: Use past tense for past situations and include necessary articles and relative pronouns.

× And when I was like 7 years old and my father gifted me with a bicycle on and showed up on my birthday with the cycle and after like writing it for like 5 to 7 years, I stopped riding bicycles.

✓ When I was about seven years old, my father gave me a bicycle and showed up on my birthday with it, and after riding it for about five to seven years, I stopped.

Problems: 'gifted me with a bicycle on' is awkward; use 'gave me a bicycle' or 'gifted me a bicycle'. 'Showed up on my birthday with the cycle' is acceptable but 'with it' avoids repetition. 'Writing it' is a wrong verb; the correct verb is 'riding'. Replace 'like' with 'about' for approximation. Also reorder for clarity. Suggestion: Use correct verbs for actions (give/gave, ride/rode), choose proper prepositions (on my birthday), and avoid filler 'like'.

× So yeah, I did have a bicycle.

✓ So yes, I did have a bicycle.

Minor issue: 'yeah' is informal; 'yes' is more appropriate in a test response. The grammar is otherwise correct. Suggestion: Use 'yes' in formal answers.

× Yes, bikes in my countries are very popular because not everyone can afford a car or any other thing to travel.

✓ Yes, bikes in my country are very popular because not everyone can afford a car or other means of transport.

Errors: 'my countries' should be singular 'my country'. 'any other thing to travel' is unnatural; use 'other means of transport' or 'other vehicles' to express the idea. Suggestion: Use 'country' for a single country and use 'means of transport' for travel methods.

× So many people, even the poor people, can easily purchase the CD 70 in our country.

✓ Many people, even those who are poor, can easily purchase the CD 70 in our country.

Use 'many people' rather than 'so many people' for a neutral statement. 'the poor people' is better phrased as 'those who are poor' or 'poor people'. Include 'the' before a specific model 'CD 70' if appropriate. Suggestion: Prefer 'many people' and use clearer phrasing for groups.

× So yeah, every people, every. It's very popular in our country.

✓ So yes, everyone. It's very popular in our country.

'Every people' is incorrect; 'everyone' or 'every person' is correct when referring to individuals. The fragment 'every.' should be completed as 'everyone.' Suggestion: Use 'everyone' when referring to all individuals.