自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct minor grammar (article use and tense) and avoid repeating phrases like “when I was a child.”

範例: Yes. My father bought me a bike as a reward for my good school results when I was ten. I used it every day to ride to the park and practice tricks with my friends, which helped me become more confident and active.

建議: Answer directly first, then give specific and current information. Use correct grammar (subject-verb agreement, past vs present) and linking words to connect ideas. Avoid vague phrases like “everyone of us.”

範例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country. When I was a child most kids owned a bicycle and we often gathered at the playground to ride together; today many people still cycle for short trips and exercise.

× Yes I did, my dad bought one for me when I was a child as a gift of my good results.

✓ Yes, I did. My dad bought one for me when I was a child as a reward for my good results.

The original sentence had punctuation and word choice issues. Split into two sentences to separate the short response from the explanation: 'Yes, I did.' Use 'reward for' instead of 'gift of' which is unnatural in this context. The past tense 'bought' is correct for the time reference 'when I was a child.' Add a comma after 'Yes' for correct punctuation.

× Yes, when I was small, everyone of us own a bike and it was a popular game among us.

✓ Yes, when I was small, every one of us owned a bike and it was a popular pastime among us.

Two issues: 'everyone of us' should be 'every one of us' or better 'each of us' and requires a singular noun concept; the verb must agree with the subject in past tense: 'owned' (not 'own') because the time frame is past. Also 'popular game' is odd for riding bikes; 'popular pastime' is more natural. Use consistent past tense 'was'/'owned.'

× We gather together and play at the playground.

✓ We would gather together and play in the playground.

Original tense and preposition are slightly off. Since the speaker describes past habitual action, 'would gather' or 'used to gather' signals repeated past actions; 'in the playground' is the usual preposition for that location. Alternatively, 'played on the playground' is also acceptable. Ensure tense matches the previous sentence's past narrative.