自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be concise, use correct pronouns and tense, and organize your answer: give a clear topic sentence, then one or two supporting details with linking words. Avoid repetition and incorrect words (e.g., “write” should be “ride”, “his” should be “her”).

範例: No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child. However, my friend Nancy often rode from her house to mine so we could cycle together, but my father worried about safety, so I never learned to ride.

建議: Start with a clear direct answer, then give one or two specific reasons using linking words. Use accurate vocabulary (e.g., "bikes" not "note eyes"), simpler sentence structures if unsure, and avoid repetition. Provide a concrete example or statistic if possible.

範例: I don't think bikes are very popular in my country. One reason is that many parents worry about road safety, especially in busy cities, so children are often driven to school instead. For example, my neighbour's children always go by car because the roads are dangerous.

× No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child, but my friend Nancy used to write from his house to my place or his house to my place so that we can cycle together.

✓ No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child, but my friend Nancy used to walk from her house to my place so that we could cycle together.

The sentence uses incorrect pronouns and verbs: 'his' is incorrect because Nancy is female, so use 'her'. 'Write' is a wrong word choice for moving on foot; the intended verb is 'walk'. Also 'can' should be past ability 'could' to match 'used to' (past habitual). Suggestion: check gender of people mentioned, choose appropriate verbs for actions, and keep past tense consistency.

× But however, daddy wasn't happy about it because of safety.

✓ However, my father wasn't happy about it because of safety concerns.

'But however' is redundant; choose one connector. 'Daddy' is informal; 'my father' is more natural in this context. Add 'concerns' to complete the noun phrase 'safety concerns'. Tense 'wasn't' is correct past tense; keep it. Suggestion: avoid redundant connectors and use complete noun phrases.

× I'd love to ride, but I didn't ride.

✓ I would have loved to ride, but I didn't.

The original mixes conditional/modal forms. 'I'd love to ride' usually expresses present desire; in a past context use 'I would have loved to ride' (conditional perfect) to express past unrealized desire. Alternatively, 'I wanted to ride, but I didn't' is simpler. Suggestion: match modal phrasing to time reference.

× Note eyes are not popular in my country.

✓ Bicycles are not very popular in my country.

'Note eyes' appears to be a mis-transcription; the intended subject is 'bicycles'. Use the correct noun. Also add 'very' for natural emphasis. Suggestion: ensure correct lexical choice and spelling.

× The reason is that my experience worried about their child's safety.

✓ The reason is that parents are worried about their children's safety based on my experience.

Original sentence has unclear subject and verb: 'my experience worried' is incorrect because an experience cannot worry; people worry. Recast to show that, according to the speaker's experience, parents worry about children's safety. Also use plural 'children' to match 'parents'. Suggestion: make the agent of the emotion the people who feel it.

× The only nursing my friend used to have vigorous grinding their kids so bike.

✓ Only a few of my friends used to let their children ride bikes because they were very protective.

The original is incomprehensible: 'nursing', 'vigorous grinding' are wrong word choices. Replace with natural phrases: 'a few of my friends', 'let their children ride', 'very protective'. Ensure subject-verb agreement 'friends used'. Suggestion: choose simple, common expressions to convey meaning.

× It's because of this safety of their kids many many many periods worry about.

✓ Because of concerns about their children's safety, many parents worry a lot.

Original uses awkward preposition and word order: 'because of this safety of their kids' should be 'because of concerns about their children's safety'. 'Many many many periods worry about' is nonsensical; replace with 'many parents worry a lot'. Suggestion: use 'concerns about' for worries and correct noun order 'children's safety'.