自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be clearer and more concise. Start with a direct topic sentence that answers the question, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid hesitations, filler words (uh, umm), and fragmented sentences. Use correct tense and simple vocabulary to describe the bike and how it changed as you grew older. Keep your answer under five sentences and use linking words (for example, then, later) to connect ideas.

範例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. I lived with my grandparents in a house with a large garden, and each child had a bike. My first bike was a small yellow tricycle, which helped me learn to balance. Later, when I grew taller, my family gave me a bigger two-wheeled bicycle that I used to ride around the neighborhood.

建議: Answer directly then give specific reasons and examples. Reduce hesitations and correct grammar (use present simple and countable forms). Use linking words (however, but, for example) to contrast long- and short-distance use. Mention specific places or situations where bikes are commonly used to make your answer concrete.

範例: Yes, bicycles are quite popular in my country for short trips. For long distances people usually prefer cars or motorcycles; however, many people use bikes to travel to nearby shops or to visit friends. For example, I often ride my bike to the local convenience store or the market because it is convenient and cheap.

× I lived with my grandparent in the umm garden, a house with a big garden and there is a bike for each of us.

✓ I lived with my grandparents in a house with a big garden and there was a bike for each of us.

The noun 'grandparent' should be plural 'grandparents' because 'each of us' implies more than one child and they lived with both grandparents. Also 'a house with a big garden' flows better than 'in the umm garden, a house...'. The verb 'is' should match past narrative tense and become 'was'. Suggestion: use plural nouns to match context and keep tense consistent when telling past events.

× Of course, when I had, uh, when I was a child, I lived with my grandparent in the umm garden, a house with a big garden and there is a bike for each of us.

✓ Of course, when I was a child, I lived with my grandparents in a house with a big garden and there was a bike for each of us.

The sentence mixes present tense 'is' with past tense narrative 'lived' and 'was a child'. Maintain past tense throughout the story. Suggestion: keep all verbs in the past when describing childhood events.

× I remembered I got this yellow one at first when I wallet auto bike was like a tricycle and when I was older the why why was a.

✓ I remember I got a yellow one at first; my earliest bike was like a tricycle, and when I was older I switched to a regular bike.

The original is fragmented and contains nonwords ('wallet auto', 'why why was a'). 'I remembered I got' should be 'I remember I got' or 'I remembered getting' depending on intended tense; here present recollection uses 'I remember'. Clarify 'wallet auto' to 'earliest' or 'first' and 'tricycle' is the intended noun. Provide a clear clause for becoming older. Suggestion: simplify into clear clauses and choose consistent tense.

× there is a bike for each of us.

✓ there was a bike for each of us.

Pronoun 'each of us' is fine, but verb tense must agree with past narrative. Change 'is' to 'was' to match 'lived' and 'was a child'. Suggestion: ensure pronouns keep agreement with surrounding verbs and tense.

× For long distance I will car and motorcycle are more popular, but by bicycle is also popular for shorter distances, like when when I go to the 711 or Lotus to shopping bike help.

✓ For long distances, cars and motorcycles are more popular, but bicycles are also popular for shorter trips, like when I go to 7-Eleven or Lotus for shopping; a bike helps.

The original has multiple structure issues: missing articles, incorrect word order ('I will car'), singular/plural mismatches, repeated words, and unclear phrases. 'For long distances' requires plural 'distances'; 'cars and motorcycles' should be plural; 'bicycles are' matches plural subject; use 'for shopping' or 'for shopping trips'. '7-Eleven' and 'Lotus' need correct names; 'bike help' should be 'a bike helps' or 'a bike is helpful'. Suggestion: break into clearer clauses, use plural forms for general statements, and correct word order.

× For long distance I will car and motorcycle are more popular,

✓ For long distances, cars and motorcycles are more popular,

Use plural 'distances' when speaking generally. 'Car' and 'motorcycle' should be plural 'cars and motorcycles' to match the generic statement. Also remove 'I will' which is incorrect here. Suggestion: use plural nouns for general preferences or trends.

× but by bicycle is also popular for shorter distances,

✓ but bicycles are also popular for shorter distances,

The noun 'bicycle' was singular while the verb 'is' did not agree with the intended general meaning. Use plural subject 'bicycles' with plural verb 'are' to express general popularity. Suggestion: match subject number with verb and use plural for general statements.

× like when when I go to the 711 or Lotus to shopping bike help.

✓ like when I go to 7-Eleven or Lotus for shopping; a bike helps.

Use 'to' with verbs of motion toward places ('go to 7-Eleven'), but for purpose use 'for' ('for shopping'). Also remove duplicated 'when'. The phrase 'bike help' is ungrammatical; use 'a bike helps' or 'a bike is helpful'. Suggestion: choose correct prepositions for purpose ('for') and direction ('to') and ensure verbs and noun phrases are complete.