自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be direct and concise: start with a clear topic sentence stating whether you had a bike, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid irrelevant or confusing phrases (e.g. “my brother's dead” is likely a mistake; use 'brothers' or 'brother' and correct tense). Use linking words to connect ideas and keep sentences natural.

範例: No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child. Instead, I used to watch my older brother ride his bike around the neighborhood, which I enjoyed because he would perform little tricks and race with his friends.

建議: Give a clear direct answer, then support it with specific reasons and a contrasting example if possible. Use correct grammar and avoid repetition. Include a linking phrase like 'because' and consider mentioning where bikes are popular to show nuance.

範例: Not particularly, because I live in a very hot province where temperatures are high most of the year, so people usually prefer cars or staying at home. However, bikes are more common in cooler coastal cities or among young people who use them for short trips or exercise.

× Well, as a girl, having a bike wasn't one of my wishes, so I don't believe I had a bike.

✓ Well, as a girl, having a bike wasn't one of my wishes, so I don't think I had a bike.

The student mixes past and present modal phrasing: 'don't believe I had' is awkward because 'had' is past. Use 'don't think I had' for present opinion about the past. This is an issue with pronoun/verb choice and natural collocation. Suggestion: use 'don't think' when expressing a present belief about a past situation.

× My brother's dead and they used to ride it all around your neighborhood.

✓ My brothers were always riding them all around our neighborhood.

Multiple issues: 'My brother's dead' is ambiguous and likely unintended; if meaning 'my brothers' (plural) the pronoun 'they' then matches. 'Used to ride it' mismatches plural/plural noun and 'your neighborhood' should be 'our neighborhood' when speaking about own childhood. This correction fixes pronoun number agreement and perspective. Suggestion: ensure noun plurality matches pronouns and keep first-person perspective ('our').

× It was fun to watch them.

✓ It was fun to watch them ride.

The sentence is grammatically acceptable but incomplete in the activity described. Adding 'ride' clarifies what 'them' were doing. This is an adjective/adverb/content clarity improvement; suggestion: include the verb that describes the observed action for clarity.

× Well, not really since that I live in a hot province.

✓ Not really, since I live in a hot province.

The phrase 'since that I live' is ungrammatical. Use 'since I live' to introduce a reason. This is a sentence structure error. Suggestion: remove 'that' after 'since' when giving a reason.

× The weather the weather is usually very hot and sunny, so people prefer using cars or just staying at home rather than walking or riding bikes.

✓ The weather is usually very hot and sunny, so people prefer using cars or just staying at home rather than walking or riding bikes.

The sentence repeats 'the weather' accidentally, which is a sentence structure/repetition error. Removing the duplicate fixes the issue. Suggestion: read sentences aloud to catch accidental repetition.