自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Improve grammar (tense and agreement), conciseness, and clarity. Start with a clear topic sentence in past tense, then give two specific supporting details linked with cohesive devices. Correct errors like “I have” → “I had,” “It's colder” (unclear) → describe color/condition, and streamline repetitive parts. Aim for 3–4 sentences, using simple linking words (for example, because, so, when).

範例: I had a bike when I was a child. It was a black bicycle with a basket on the front, and it was a little rusty by the time I grew out of it. I loved it because my father bought it for me, and my friends and I often rode our bikes to the park to play. Because bikes were common in the 1990s, they helped us bond and spend time together.

建議: Use a clear topic sentence followed by specific reasons and examples. Fix sentence forms and word choice: say “people use them for transportation” and avoid literal translations like “going to the work.” Add a linking word to explain reasons (for example, because, therefore). Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

範例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country, both among children and adults. Many people use bicycles for short commutes because they are cheap and convenient in crowded cities. For example, office workers often cycle to work to avoid traffic and save money.

× Yes I have a bike when I was a child.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child.

The sentence mixes present tense 'have' with the past time expression 'when I was a child'. Use the past simple 'had' to match the past time reference. Also add a comma after 'Yes' for natural pacing.

× It's colder, black with basket in front.

✓ It was colored black and had a basket in front.

'Colder' is comparative adjective and incorrect here; the intended meaning is the bike's color. Use 'colored black' or 'was black'. Also the original lacks a past tense verb; since speaking of childhood use past 'was' and 'had'. The phrase 'with basket in front' is missing an article and verb, so change to 'had a basket in front'.

× I like my bike because my dad bought it for me and during 1990s all of my friends they have bike also we use our bike as a bonding going to the park and play with my friends.

✓ I liked my bike because my dad bought it for me, and during the 1990s all of my friends had bikes too. We used our bikes to bond by going to the park and playing with each other.

This sentence mixes present and past. The main narrative is in the past (dad bought it), so verbs should be past: 'liked', 'had', 'used'. '1990s' needs the definite article 'the'. 'Friends they have bike' has redundant pronoun and wrong tense; use 'friends had bikes'. 'Bike' should be plural 'bikes' when referring to all friends. 'As a bonding' is incorrect; use 'to bond' or 'to bond with each other'. Also adjust 'play with my friends' to 'playing with each other' for clarity and parallel structure.

× They use that as their transportation, going to the work.

✓ They use them as transportation, going to work.

Use plural pronoun 'them' to refer to 'bikes'. 'Transportation' is an uncountable noun so no article needed. 'Going to the work' is incorrect; omit 'the' and use 'going to work'. Also keep present simple 'are' acceptable if speaking generally; original used present which is fine, but pronoun and article need fixing.