自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more grammatically accurate, concise, and organized. Start with a clear topic sentence (Yes/No + brief info), then add one or two supporting details using linking words. Correct verb tenses (use past tense for childhood), avoid repetitions, and keep it within 3–4 sentences. For example, mention when you got the bike, how often you used it, and who accompanied you using linking words like “when,” “usually,” and “because.”

範例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. I got it when I was about eight and I used it every day to ride home from school. Usually my parents would walk behind me to make sure I was safe, so I felt confident riding on my own.

建議: Clarify your ideas and use specific reasons with correct vocabulary. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then give two concise, specific reasons using linking words such as “because” and “for example.” Avoid repetition and incorrect phrases (e.g., “you need to buy” is unclear). Mention situations where bikes are practical: short trips, crowded streets, and affordability. Keep sentences short and accurate.

範例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country. For example, many people use them for short trips to local markets because streets are narrow and it is cheaper than owning a car. Also, students often ride bikes to school since they are convenient and affordable.

× Yeah, when I was as a kid, I have my bicycle ride to my home and then and when I have to go to somewhere, I usually go from my bike and my parents are always at my back then.

✓ Yeah, when I was a kid, I used to ride my bicycle home, and when I had to go somewhere, I usually went by bike and my parents were always behind me.

The student mixes past and present tense incorrectly. The context is childhood, so past tense should be used (used to ride, had to go, went, were). Also contains awkward prepositions and phrasing ('go from my bike' -> 'go by bike'; 'at my back' -> 'behind me'). Suggest consistently using past simple for habitual past actions and correct prepositions: 'used to ride', 'go somewhere', 'by bike', 'behind me'.

× Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because if you are going to somewhere like in the local local markets or something in the tiny tiny houses you need, you have to need a buy because you can't go buy a car.

✓ Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because for going to local markets or nearby houses you need to use them; people often cannot afford to buy a car.

This sentence has multiple structure problems and incorrect word order. Phrases like 'going to somewhere' and 'you have to need a buy' are ungrammatical. The corrected version simplifies the structure and uses appropriate verbs: 'going to local markets or nearby houses', 'need to use them', 'cannot afford to buy a car'. Also removes repeated words ('local local', 'tiny tiny'). Keep clarity by splitting or rephrasing long ideas.

× Moreover, the bikes are also very popular because as a school.

✓ Moreover, bikes are also very popular for students going to school.

The phrase 'because as a school' is incorrect conjunction/phrase usage and lacks a clear subject. Replacing it with 'for students going to school' clarifies the reason. Use 'for' to indicate purpose/benefit and specify the agent ('students').