自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more grammatical, concise and use clear linking words. Start with a direct topic sentence, correct verb forms and articles, and limit to about 3–4 sentences. Add one specific detail (e.g., color, model or a memory) and use linking words such as “so,” “and,” or “because” correctly.

範例: Yes, I did. I had a bright red bicycle that I rode to school and often cycled around the neighborhood with my friends. Because it gave me freedom and fun, I have many fond memories of riding it after class. I still remember learning to balance on it, which makes that bike very special to me.

建議: Use correct vocabulary and clearer sentence structure. Replace incorrect words (e.g., “prepared”) with “popular” or “common,” correct grammar (subject-verb agreement), and give a specific reason or example. Use linking words like “because,” “for example,” and “so” properly to make your point coherent.

範例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because they are an affordable and convenient way to travel. For example, many students ride bicycles to school, and parents often buy a bike as a child’s first personal possession. So, bicycles are both practical and culturally significant for many families.

× I had a bike when I was child and it was a beautiful bike which I used to go to school and I used to travel with my friends.

✓ I had a bike when I was a child, and it was a beautiful bike which I used to ride to school, and I used to travel with my friends.

Missing article 'a' before 'child' is a singular noun requiring an article (singular and plural issue). Also 'go to school' is acceptable but 'ride to school' is more precise for a bike; this is a stylistic improvement. Suggestion: use 'a child' and use verbs matching the activity of riding a bike.

× I have very sweet memories with that bike and I usually cherish that memories all the time because of my childhood which never returns and it is precious for me.

✓ I have very sweet memories of that bike and I usually cherish those memories because my childhood will never return and it is precious to me.

Wrong preposition 'with' after 'memories' and incorrect quantifier 'that memories' (should be 'those memories') are errors in quantifier and word choice. Also 'all the time' is redundant with 'usually' and 'because of my childhood which never returns' is awkward; better: 'because my childhood will never return.' Suggestion: use 'memories of', 'those' for plural demonstrative, and simplify the clause.

× Yes, I do think bikes are prepared in my country because it is the cheapest way of transport and for all of the children who are young in age and in their first dream, it is a bike.

✓ Yes, I do think bikes are popular in my country because they are the cheapest means of transport, and for many young children their first dream is to have a bike.

Pronoun disagreement and awkward phrasing: 'it is the cheapest way of transport' mixes singular 'it' with plural 'bikes' and uses 'way' instead of 'means'; use 'they are' for bikes. 'For all of the children who are young in age' is redundant; use 'many young children'. Also 'in their first dream, it is a bike' is unnatural; rephrase to 'their first dream is to have a bike.' Suggestion: ensure pronoun number matches the noun and simplify phrasing.

× So the first thing they belongs to themselves and that is all.

✓ So the first thing that belongs to them is a bike, and that's all.

Subject-pronoun agreement error: 'they belongs' is wrong because 'they' requires 'belong'. Also the structure is awkward; better to use 'the first thing that belongs to them is a bike.' Suggestion: ensure verb agrees with subject and order the clause clearly.