自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be clearer and more grammatical: start with a direct topic sentence, then add 1–2 specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and correct tense and word choice (e.g., bike, back → bike; I even rushed into the car → I even fell off). Keep it under five sentences.

範例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. It was pink, my favourite colour, and my mother encouraged me to learn to ride it. However, I fell off the bike the first time I tried, so I was a bit scared for a while before I tried again.

建議: Organize your answer: begin with a clear opinion, then give 2–3 specific reasons or examples using linking words. Use correct vocabulary (e.g., shared bikes, park) and avoid fragmentary sentences. Keep it concise and coherent.

範例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country. For example, there are many shared-bike services that make short trips convenient, and people often rent a bike to go to the shops or commute to work. As a result, cycling is an affordable and practical way to get around in the city.

× Yes of course I had a back in my childhood which is my in my favorite color pink and my mother told me to ride the bike.

✓ Yes, of course I had one in my childhood; it was my favorite color, pink, and my mother taught me to ride the bike.

The original sentence has multiple issues: incorrect noun 'back' should be 'bike' (vocabulary but treated here as sentence structure), redundant phrase 'my in my', and wrong verb 'told me to ride' is acceptable but 'taught me to ride' is more natural for learning. The tense 'had' is correct for past ownership, but the clause 'which is my in my favorite color' mixes present 'is' with past context; change to 'it was my favorite color' to keep past tense consistent. Also add commas and restructure for clarity. Suggestion: keep verbs and time references in the same tense and use 'teach/taught' when referring to learning an action.

× However, I even rushed into the car when I first ride the bike.

✓ However, I even ran into a car the first time I rode the bike.

This sentence mixes tenses: 'when I first ride' uses present where past is required. Use past tense 'rode' to match 'ran into' or 'rushed into'. Also 'rushed into the car' is unnatural for a collision; 'ran into a car' or 'crashed into a car' is better. Replace 'even' position and choose appropriate verb. Suggestion: maintain past tense for past events and choose verbs that fit meaning.

× Of course, there are a lot of shale bikes in our country which actually make our life more convenient.

✓ Of course, there are a lot of shared bikes in our country, which actually make our lives more convenient.

The original has 'shale bikes' (likely incorrect word) and 'make our life more convenient' uses singular 'life' for plural subjects; use 'shared bikes' and 'make our lives' to match plural users. Also add a comma before the nonrestrictive clause. Suggestion: ensure correct vocabulary ('shared') and match quantifiers and noun number ('lives') to refer to people collectively.

× And we can rent a bike at home and we can drive it to the shopping malls and we can just put it on the sport and.

✓ We can rent a bike near our home, ride it to the shopping mall, and park it at designated spots.

The original sentence is repetitive and ungrammatical: 'rent a bike at home' should be 'rent a bike near our home' or 'from home', 'drive it to the shopping malls' is odd for bikes—use 'ride', and 'put it on the sport' is incorrect ('spot' intended) and incomplete. Also remove repeated 'and we can' for conciseness. Suggestion: combine coordinated actions, use correct verbs for bicycles ('ride'), and use 'park it at designated spots' for clarity.