自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Clarify vocabulary and improve sentence structure. Begin with a clear topic sentence directly answering the question, correct word choice (use "had" not "heard"), avoid repetition, and add one or two specific supporting details (e.g., when you used it or a memorable moment). Use a linking word if you add details.

範例: Yes, I had a bicycle when I was a child. It was a hand-me-down from my older brother, but I loved it because it was sturdy and bright red. For example, I used to ride it to school every day, and I remember learning to balance on it in our neighborhood park.

建議: Make a direct, concise topic sentence then add two clear, specific reasons using linking words. Avoid filler sounds and repetition. Include a short example or comparison to strengthen your point (e.g., compare cost or traffic benefits).

範例: Yes, bicycles are quite popular in Kenya because they are inexpensive and suit short-distance travel. Moreover, they produce no emissions, so they help reduce local air pollution; for instance, many market vendors use bikes to transport goods around town because they are cheaper than motorbikes and easier to park.

× Yes, I actually heard the bike when I was a child.

✓ Yes, I actually had the bike when I was a child.

The student used 'heard' which means to perceive sound; the correct verb for possession is 'had'. This is a sentence structure/word choice error. Suggestion: use 'have/had' for possession and ensure verb matches intended meaning.

× This was a hand down from my elder brother and it was actually a very nice, a very nice item to have because I have very good memory.

✓ It was a hand-me-down from my elder brother, and it was a very nice item to have because I have very good memories.

Errors: 'hand down' should be the noun 'hand-me-down' (hyphenated) and 'memory' should be plural 'memories' when referring to recollections. Also delete redundant 'a very nice' repetition. Suggestion: use 'hand-me-down' for items passed between family members and use plural 'memories' when referring to several recollections.

× Bikes are popular in my country and which is Kenya and many people prefer using this means of transport because it's very cheap and uh, it, it is also less, less, uh, causes less pollution to the environment, so.

✓ Bikes are popular in my country, Kenya, and many people prefer using them as a means of transport because they are very cheap and cause less pollution to the environment.

Problems: unnecessary clause 'and which is Kenya' is ungrammatical; use apposition 'my country, Kenya,'. 'This means of transport' should be plural 'a means' or 'them as a means'. Pronoun agreement: 'Bikes' requires 'them' and plural verbs 'they are'. Redundant filler words removed and phrase reordered for clarity. Suggestion: use apposition for country names, ensure pronouns agree with plural nouns, and avoid repetition/fillers.