自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be direct and concise: start with a clear topic sentence (Yes/I did), then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid hesitations, repetition, and unclear words (e.g. “Wi‑Fi” seems incorrect). Use linking words like ‘and’ or ‘so’ to connect ideas. Also correct vocabulary mistakes (e.g. say “bike” or “bicycle” instead of “Wi‑Fi”) and reduce fillers (uh, I, it would). Aim for 2–4 sentences and include a brief personal feeling or result to enrich the answer.

範例: Yes, I did. I had a small pink bicycle that I rode everywhere around my house and the neighborhood compound. I was very attached to it, so I spent most afternoons practicing new tricks and exploring nearby streets.

建議: Clarify your opinion and support it with clear reasons or examples. Begin with a direct answer (Yes/No/Somewhat). Avoid unrelated or confusing phrases (e.g. “providing the salad”) and reduce hesitations. If unsure, say ‘I’m not certain’ and then give observable evidence (friends’ interest, traffic, bike shops). Use linking words like ‘however’ or ‘on the other hand’ to contrast points.

範例: I’m not completely sure, but I think bikes are fairly popular in my country. For example, many of my friends frequently ride bikes for short trips, and I often see bicycles parked outside markets and schools. However, cars and motorbikes are still more common for longer journeys.

× I just think you remember that when I was a kid, I had this small pink bicycle which I used to ride everywhere in my home, every society compound, everywhere.

✓ I think you remember that when I was a kid, I had this small pink bicycle which I used to ride everywhere in my neighborhood.

The original sentence had redundant and awkward phrases ('I just think you remember that' and 'every society compound, everywhere') and an unnecessary filler 'just'. Simplify to 'I think you remember' and replace 'every society compound' with 'neighborhood' for natural, idiomatic English. Also remove repeated 'everywhere'. This improves clarity and flow while keeping correct tense and meaning.

× I, it would, it would be, uh, it would not be wrong to say that I was attached to the hip with my pink Wi-Fi.

✓ It would not be wrong to say that I was attached to my pink bike.

The original contains disfluent repetition and a mistaken word 'Wi-Fi' instead of 'bike'. Remove vocal fillers and repetitions and correct the noun. Use 'attached to my pink bike' (idiomatic) and drop extra commas and 'I, it would' to form a coherent sentence.

× I don't think I've been providing the salad.

✓ I don't think I provided that explanation.

The original sentence is incoherent and likely a mis-speech ('providing the salad' makes no sense in context). Replace with a coherent clause that matches context: 'I don't think I provided that explanation' or 'I don't think I said that.' This preserves present perfect/negative sense and makes meaning clear.

× I'm sure because Nicole said you are had no, uh, interest in bikes or anything.

✓ I'm not sure, because Nicole said you had no interest in bikes or anything.

Original mixes tenses and pronouns ('you are had' is ungrammatical). Correct to 'Nicole said you had no interest' which uses past tense reported speech. Also change 'I'm sure' to 'I'm not sure' to match intended uncertainty; if speaker intended certainty, use 'I'm sure because Nicole said you had no interest.' Ensure verb tense agrees with reported speech.

× But I don't see my friends, my guide friends around me, they talk about bikes all the time and they are really interested in bikes.

✓ But I see my friends, my guide friends around me; they talk about bikes all the time and are really interested in them.

Original has tense/pronominal inconsistency: 'I don't see' conflicts with observation 'they talk about bikes all the time.' Likely intended 'I do see my friends...'. Change to 'I see' to state a present observation, use a semicolon or conjunction to connect clauses, and replace repeated 'bikes' with pronoun 'them' to avoid repetition. This corrects present tense usage and improves cohesion.