自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more natural and precise. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct the phrase “four cycles” to “training wheels” or “four wheels,” and add one brief supporting detail (where you rode it or who gave it to you). Keep it under five sentences and avoid fillers.

範例: Yes — I had a pink bike as a child with two small training wheels. I rode it around my neighborhood every afternoon, and my parents bought it for my seventh birthday, which made me really excited.

建議: Organize your answer with a clear topic sentence and two specific supporting reasons. Remove fillers (uh, like) and correct grammar (e.g., “in every movie,” “every girl's dream is to get a pink one”). Use linking words (because, moreover) for cohesion and be specific about examples (films, trends, or local habits). Keep it concise (max five sentences).

範例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because many children see them in popular films and want to copy what they see. Moreover, affordable bike-sharing programs and safe cycling paths make riding convenient for families. For example, my niece wanted a pink bike after watching a character ride one in a movie.

× Yes, in fact, I had a pink bike with four cycles.

✓ Yes, in fact, I had a pink bike with four wheels.

The student used 'cycles' incorrectly to refer to parts of a bicycle. 'Cycle' is a whole vehicle; the correct singular noun for the parts is 'wheel' (plural 'wheels'). This is a singular/plural and word-choice issue: use 'wheels' when referring to multiple wheel parts. Suggestion: Learn common part names for objects (wheel, tire, seat) and use the plural for more than one (two wheels, three wheels).

× I think they're really popular because, uh, we see bikes in every movies, usually in American movies.

✓ I think they're really popular because, uh, we see bikes in every movie, usually in American movies.

The phrase 'in every movies' mixes singular 'every' with plural 'movies'. After 'every' you must use a singular noun: 'every movie'. Suggestion: Use 'every' + singular (every day, every person, every movie) or change to 'in all movies' if plural is intended.

× And like nowadays kids really watch lots of American movies, so they really, uh, feel the need to learn it and they don't want to fall behind.

✓ And like nowadays kids really watch lots of American movies, so they really, uh, feel the need to learn about them and they don't want to fall behind.

The pronoun 'it' incorrectly refers back to 'American movies' (plural). Use a plural pronoun 'them' or rephrase with 'learn about them'. Suggestion: Ensure pronoun number (singular/plural) matches the noun it refers to.

× So yeah, I think it's pretty much popular.

✓ So yeah, I think they're pretty popular.

The student used 'it's' (it is) to refer to 'bikes' (plural) and added unnecessary 'pretty much' which is awkward here. 'They're pretty popular' correctly matches plural subject-verb agreement and is more natural. Suggestion: Match subject number with verb (they're for plural) and simplify adverbial phrases ('pretty popular' is natural).

× And every girl's dreams to get a pink.

✓ And every girl's dream is to get a pink one.

The original sentence lacks a verb and misuses noun/adjective forms: 'dreams' should be singular noun 'dream' with verb 'is', and 'a pink' is incomplete—use 'a pink one' (one = bike) or 'a pink bike'. Suggestion: Use complete noun phrases and include a verb: 'every girl's dream is to get a pink bike'.